..:: life's a B e A c H ! step lightly into the realm of the unknown. ::..

a call for help.

2008-02-19T13:09:00.003+08:00

so i received this email from marlette today that made me laugh. she started her email with this:

HELP LULA...SA PAG-ORGANIZE NG KASAL KO! POTEK!

ok diba? she's in singapore, i'm in hawaii, and the wedding will be in the philippines. hehe.

or maybe i forgot to tell her i would get extended? hmmm...

so i guess this is the ultimate test of our skill to organize. whatever happened to that pact we made about never organizing any event ever again? sa teambuildings lang yata applicable yun? haha.

it just makes me shake my head and smile when i remember this one conversation i had with her a couple of years ago at GT's 12th floor. i can still remember that sunny day so clearly. we were sitting on one of those yellow plastic rattan chairs outside and she just started talking about "possibilities" and then i told her that if people in the group are gonna start getting together as in going out, it can't be any one of us - glenn, jt, marlette and me.

and here we are, 3 years later organizing her and JT's wedding. how things have changed. :)

p.s.
visit this for hawaii pics and stories (i just started blogging again so there isn't much stories yet).

be careful what you wish for...

2007-04-02T11:22:00.000+08:00

i've been a delinquent blogger i know.

my bohol post has been in draft status for the longest time. and there were so many things in the past 10(?) months that i could have blogged about. i just never got around to writing them because of the limited internet access at work, which is where i spend 90% of my waking hours now.

a couple of weeks more, and let's see if i get more time to blog and catch up on things i've been wanting to write about...

one thing's for sure though. i want to be able to have the time to explain the title for this post.

if all goes well...i really will find the time.

...as soon as i get settled in hawaii.

Panglao Island, Bohol

2006-05-24T18:40:00.000+08:00

may it be water or land...
ANG GANDA TALAGA NG PILIPINAS. :)

** left: mahogany trees almost embracing you as you traverse the road going to chocolate hills
**right: one the little islands around Panglao

i'll leave you with those as i write the tales of my trip. :)

i must be getting old.

2006-04-19T13:18:00.000+08:00

this morning, i happened to step into a noisy elevator full of vibrant, bubbly college kids probably starting their practicum in some company in the building.

trying not to be rude by covering my ears, i could only wince in my corner on the cramped elevator as they talked in really loud, excited voices all at the same time about their new id laces, yahoogroups, pictures and what-nots.

when the elevator finally stopped at the 12th floor, imagine what i must have looked like when they (all 10 or so of them) shrieked in unison as the elevator doors started closing while some of them were still trying to get out.

ahhh...the uhm, "springtime of youth" can sometimes be annoying isn't it?

samu't saring kwento lang.

2006-04-03T15:14:00.000+08:00

one night at the casa, JT dropped by to de-stress. as he was opening the (kwatro kantos) Ginebra gin from our "stock", shawie shouted:

Shawie: JUTAY! wag mo uubusin yan ha!
(and then she turned to me)
Shawie: Wag na nga tayo bibili ng malaking gin! yung maliliit na lang.
...kasi nawawalan ng espiritu. sayang lang.

ahhhh...spoken like a true-blue alcoholic! but in fairness, concerned naman sya talaga sa kalusugan ni jutay. (:

************

last friday, we celebrated shawie and jen's birthday at the casa. i call the attendance an "all-star" cast because it wasn't just the usual casa people. it looked like a reunion of sorts for our (ex)project. and it felt nice to be catching up, kidding around, and basically reclaiming that old feeling of belonging - if only for a few hours - from the people that i worked with for more than 3 years, but most, i haven't seen or talked to since the start of the year.

and for the first time ever, we committed the gravest sin of all: we ran out of alcohol. we had red wine, 1L absolut kurant vodka ~~vodka kurrant~~ (the current group favorite), 1 kwatro kantos gin (JT's leftover from my story above), and 20 bottles of beer. come 2AM, i was desperately rummaging through our fridge to look for any stock we might have overlooked. i found an unfamiliar-looking bottle with contents that smelled like alcohol and brought it out. that was when i found out that there is one kind of alcohol not even our group can drink: whiskey. hehehe.

************

and having talked about "belonging", about two weeks ago, those of us who went to the combined teambuilding (with another project) got a shock of our lives. for years, we were so wrapped up in our world, being happy among ourselves, welcoming new comers and their quirks, not exactly caring about whatever is happening outside our project, that we almost forgot one tiny thing: the world doesn't revolve around us pala.

maybe we just weren't used to being the minority. maybe we were just expecting that we will be welcomed in the way that we used to welcome people. maybe we were looking for signs and things that weren't there: a spark of enthusiasm or eagerness to get to know us as much as we want to get to know them. the effort to make new people feel at ease. any semblance of the closeness that we used to have as a project composed of 60+ people. maybe we're just too hung up on what we used to be that we're having a hard time accepting what is right now.

or maybe...it's just basically not possible to embrace new people into your circle when you can't even embrace one of your own.

we wanted to fit in. we were ready to be a part of them. but maybe they weren't.

************

sometimes, it's ok to make wishes. because you'll never know, maybe some of them are bound to come true. (:

back in December 2004. i wrote this entry entitled my selfish, really really impossible wishlist. what do you know, about a year later, i was granted 2 out of 5 wishes (the first and the last). not bad for something i thought was "selfish" and "impossible" huh?

and sometimes i still marvel at how so precise i phrased this particular wish:
a prospective The One who will look after me, and take care of me, and will patiently wait until am ready to love again.

it makes me smile na lang. (:

...now let's see if we can work on those boracay/palawan trips. hehehe.

************

and speaking of trips, one of my goals for last year was to go to singapore. i was meaning to take this trip with marlette, but since she already went last year when i wasn't available, the plan reverted back to the original.

so yes, am going to Panglao Bohol on May. yay! this time, not with my beach buddy marlette, but with glenn, cholo and pangga. we availed of the Cebu Pacific promo and we already have our tickets. next is resort reservation and am off to another adventure in one of the beautiful beaches of the philippines. :)

2005

2006-02-22T20:09:00.000+08:00

it was the year of a thousand movie nights.
...of scary movies and funny movies
...of good ones and bad ones and anything in between
...of watching more movies in a year than i ever did in my lifetime

it was the year of finding our favorites (if i may borrow the 2006 starbucks planner's goal) - the places we've been to and the food we ate not once, not twice, not thrice...but n times.
...of our favorite place to eat: this japanese carinderia called Keiji Japanese Garden resto located at the Fort
...of our favorite chilling out place: for it's ambiance and comfy pillows - Ziggurat
...of our favorite cocktail mix: frozen gin pomelo at Masas GB2
...of our favorite casa mix: rhum slush is out, but we have wine-sprite with a splash of orange, gin-sprite-gatorade, extra booze, and our very own Shewang drink
...of our favorite inuman place: Bistro/Gweillos in Palanca and Booze Stop right beside bobet's apartment in ~~Kakarong~~ Kamagong
...of our favorite hangover/comfort food: Nanking beef, spicy garlic squid and beef with brocolli at North Park in Makati Ave

it was the year of trying out new things.
...of italian cooking and acrylic and pastel painting classes
...of chocolate fondue and ice cream in Manila Pen
...of flirty tops and skirts and two-piece swimsuits
...of the Luneta experience and CCP food trip (yes, it's new to me)
...of badminton games and timezone trips for the percussion freaks

it was the year of weekly routines and special celebrations.
...of Monday night McDo's in Paseo Center and People Support
...of thursday nights turned 80's night every wednesday at Grilla in Kalayaan
...of the Mazzini Zobel de Ayala NJ celebration in Manila Pen
...of the great Ogos Minas dance showdown at the PA/DE celebration in Dusit
...of the luau cruise around Manila Bay for the MD/VW celebration

it was the year of tireless coffee sessions - from makati to libis to alabang to tagaytay to just about anywhere
...of late-night stories and debates with our frappes and hot mochas
...of crying, ranting, and laughing sessions over our (non-existent) lovelife
...of the mad scramble to get 21 stickers for the coveted starbucks planner

it was the year of road trips and beaches
...of the Batangas to Quezon 12-hr trip just to find the perfect beach
...of summer in Boracay and Puerto Galera
...of trips to Planet Dive Anilao and the great snorkling place that topped Galera 2 yrs ago (salamat Taytay!)
...of the Pahiyas Festival in Quezon
...of the whole day Zoobic Safari and the scary lions and tigers
...of CSI - Matuod in Batangas
...of unplanned trips to tagaytay just for the bulalo and coffee

it was the year of countless sleepless friday nights. (i can count with one hand the number of times i slept through Friday night in 2005)
...of the perpetual casa parties at the call of ANY occassion we can think of
...of videoke nights with the provocative ladies prancing around in their swimsuits
...of dance revolution nights...until morning (and yes, it's baduy to be learning it at age 23, but i'm proud that i'm finally good at it)
...of numerous poker nights using mentos and fox's candies as 5-peso and 10-peso chips
...of board games night that proved CLUEDO is not the game for a group of drunken idiots like us
...of the year that saw us consuming insane amounts of alcohol - our footprints practically etched in the alcohol aisle of shopwise. hehe.

towards the end of the year, however, our casa group had to "break up". jen was assigned in ortigas and had to move out of the casa because she lives in marikina, marlette was assigned in pioneer and had to work midshit (as in 2PM-11PM dapat, but she works til morning), ogos had to teach and moved to 6750 so he has to prepare for his class each night, glenn had to work irregular shifts, chix became busy sometime december, and JT had to work on weekends as well.

it was a drastic change actually just not being able to see each other everyday (yes, we're attached to each other like that because marlette, shawie, jen and i used to live together in the casa and the boys just come and go as they please). harder still that we had to work different shifts. it became nearly impossible to keep the old routine, the old lifestyle now that our work schedules don't jive at all anymore.

i used to wish that 2005 would never end. but alas, there are only 365 days in a year. we knew it had to end sometime but we were still shocked to see the changes unfolding before us. but as i said, it wasn't all sad ending for me. looking back at 2005, i can only be thankful that i was given not just a day, or a week, or a month to enjoy all the best things in life, but a whole year. :)

************

happy birthday to my favorite nephew, JIRO :)

it's been a long, long, while

2006-02-10T13:46:00.000+08:00

i hope i would get the chance to post about the year 2005. i keep imagining it will be a looonngg entry so i end up procrastinating. but anyway, i keep saying that so far, 2005 is the best year of my life. it started with a bang and ended with a bang as well. not quite what we (casa people) wanted or expected...but i believe the changes, no matter how sad it made us, weren't as bad as we thought it was/will be. sometimes i think that in a way, we were "punished" for having too much fun in 2005 that we sort of jinxed it. it was like all the proclamations that nothing could ever sink the Titanic...and look what happened.

it was actually a bittersweet ending for me. there were parts of my life that i didn't want to change...but some were inevitable, and some had to happen so i could be happy. it was a tradeoff that i do not regret, but still sometimes brings a wistful sigh out of me. i'm sentimental like that. i want it all. hehe.

anyway, i just want to say that all the effort i poured into taking all the right steps to healing, loving myself, my family and my friends, enjoying all the things that life offered me, pruning myself to become a better person, paid off because here i am - happier than i ever thought i would be. :) nobody expected it, but in a way, i think that it's about time. i was ready. and i still had my faith: there is someone out there who will make me happy. i don't mind if he takes his time finding me. i just know he will.

...and here he is.

hi glenn! :)

BLUR

2005-10-25T22:05:00.000+08:00

funny how being internet-starved the past three months still leaves me speechless now that we have 2 stolen days of internet service at work...

when i try to remember what has happened in my life lately, everything comes in a blur.

i've had a lot of internet-less moments before when i would feel the urge to rave, vent, or rant, but when the moment has passed, i find myself unable to write at all.

how sad.

what's been occupying my mind lately is this weird homesickness i feel for boracay. it was around this time last year when i went there. oftentimes, when the sun dares to peek in the mornings after nights and nights of rain, i'd find myself thinking how perfect it would be if i was in bora. walking in its shores in the morning when most of the people are still asleep (as if i used to wake up early eh once ko lang naman nagawa yun. hahaha), checking out the brightly colored bracelets and necklaces, deciding where to eat and what to eat, lounging in the sand watching the boats, the sea, the sky...and all those many picture perfect moments which are still so vivid in my mind.

bora is so beautiful in november. there aren't so many people, the nights aren't as noisy, hanging out in the bars isn't so stressful (you can spot an unoccupied bean bag from meters away), the water is crystal clear. the air just right - not so humid and not so cold.

i miss it so. i told myself, bisyo na to go there twice in a year...i hope i have the sense to realize that it's over to indulge that much.

if i survive the urge to go to bora this november, heaven help me, i hope resist palawan.

i so need a beach-break. :(

what happens when security lockdown takes effect at work?

2005-09-20T18:15:00.000+08:00

1. no internet
2. a neglected blog (two entries in a month???)
3. an expired chatterbox

sniff. and of course it doesn't help that majority of the people who read your blog works in the same hell hole too.

in hibernation...

2005-08-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

i never thought i would survive it...but here i am, on my 3rd(?) week without internet at work and yet i'm still alive. but still...curse you security lockdown! sniff.

and since i've been tagged by dyanis...

here goes:

10 years ago: i was intensely infatuated over a guy i used to call China Eyes (hehe, ja, naalala ko ang ating unrequited love days). i think he'll go down as The Puppy Love in my scrapbook. hehehe.

5 years ago: i was on my 2nd year of college, feeling very out of place, but still believing that i made the right decision choosing DLSU over the other choices for college.

1 year ago: i was trying to claw my way out of the darkest time of my life.

yesterday: i stayed home, slept and pampered my feet with a peppermint foot spa. :)

tomorrow: i'll probably be late for work (again) and still be internet-less (hmmpphh!)

5 snacks i enjoy:
- chilled lychee jelly
- mcdonald's french fries or sour cream french fries
- kiwi ice from ice monster
- magnolia chocolate twin popsies
- taho (yes, it's a snack. hehe)

5 bands/artists that i know the lyrics to most of their songs:
- Eraserheads
- Rivermaya
- Freestyle
- MYMP
- Nyoy Volante
(syempre OPM na OPM. haha)

5 things i would do with $100,000,000:
- travel, travel, travel
- put part in a trust fund
- buy a house for myself and my family
- treat my friends to the best beaches in the philippines
- give part to charity

5 locations i would like to run away to:
- the best beaches in the world
- somewhere with the biggest open space you'll ever see with lots of different flowers (tulips!) growing in it (or the place na lang like the one where Love in the Tuscan Sun was shot. so i guess that would be in Tuscanny? hehe.)
- the mall (of course with the $100,000,000 in my pocket. hahaha)
(hmmm...can't think of anything else. i thought of very general places. hehe.)

5 bad habits i have:
- i don't eat on time
- i sleep late and wake up even later (natural. haha)
- i procrastinate (a lot!)
- i spend too much
- hmmm...and certain other habits which i'd rather not enumerate. hehe.

5 things i like doing:
- sleep, sleep, sleep
- read on my bed
- have coffee with my friends until the wee hours of the morning
- hang out anywhere with good company and good conversation (syempre sa gabi pa din)
- travel, road trips

5 things i will never wear (or wear again):
- blouses with shoulder pads (even if they go in fashion again!)
- itchy, lacy dresses my mom used to make me wear to church
- knee socks?
- anything uber polka dots or shimmery
(on the contrary, ja, me thinks spag straps, gypsy skirts and rubber tongs are cool. it's so beach-y! i like! i like! hehe)

5 TV shows i like(d):
- Friends!
- Charmed
- Sex and the City
- 7th Heaven
- Smallville

5 movies i like:
- Finding Nemo
- Monster's Inc
- Shrek/Shrek2
- Love Actually
- 50 First Dates

5 people i'd like to meet (alive or dead):
- JK Rowling
- Tom Cruise
- Cast of Friends (syempre five people lang daw diba? hay pasaway)
- Cast of Charmed
- Kristin Kreuk (hehe)

5 biggest joys at the moment:
- my nephew Jiro
- my coffee and drinking buddies
- my "treasures" from college
- the prospect of a new beginning somewhere far

5 favorite toys:
- the original Big Bird i bought in Baywalk last year and the pirated Big Bird my friends gave me for my birthday (ha.ha.ha.)
- the purple porky pig lulu gave me
- my brown/black little dogee
- my green porres bear
- my boytoys - ogos and bobet, does that count? hahaha!

5 people that i pick to do this thing:
- ria
- emma
- mec (i know you don't do these kind of stuff. hehe.)
- anyone from niligang group. haha. let's see
- si chix, kahit na she doesn't have a blog

my birthday (July 2) post

2005-07-31T16:30:00.000+08:00

i know, i know, it's been almost a month. but i can't NOT blog about my birthday just like i did last year because i definitely want to remember my birthday this time around. :)

can i just say that having your birthday fall on a saturday is the best? because it feels like you're celebrating in two days instead of one - celebration at work on friday and then celebration at home on saturday. for me, it felt like the longest birthday because early in the week, lots of people were already greeting me via text and friendster. :)

i wasn't feeling up for a big celebration. and if i had my way, i would have been bonding and eating ice cream on friday night with a few close friends, and having lunch at home on saturday with my family. come thursday night, everyone was already asking what my birthday plans are. realizing that i can't very well haul everyone to Manila Pen to have ice cream, i finally decided to just have a party in the apartment - which we now fondly refer to as Casa Barberan for all the vices (smoking, drinking, gambling) Marlette and I brought with us when we moved in. hehe. - and then invite my highshool friends over for dinner at home on saturday night.

for me, my birthday really started when i received the beautiful bouquet of pink tulips. i went to the reception area to receive the delivery and read the message:

imma,
these might not be growing on sidewalks,
but i still hope it would bring a smile to your lips.
Love,
R

R? i knew immediately that the initial was intentional and the message was meant to confuse. too bad the sender made a mistake of referring to this blog post. hehe. the Ex doesn't read this blog so it took me about 10 seconds to figure out that the flowers really came from Rhea. sigh...that girl, even if she's in singapore, she makes us feel like she's really not. she's the best and when i got home, i put the flowers in a prominent place in my room so i would be constantly reminded of the sweetie that rhea is. :)

come 11:30PM, the party at casa barberan was underway. almost everyone was there. you know how you feel honored and grateful when someone invites you to a party? multiply that tenfold, and that's how i felt looking at all the people who came to celebrate with me. glenn brought the videoke and of course the booze was overflowing. twice, the lola neighbor walked past the gate to check who's causing the raucus at such an ungodly hour (it was 3AM) and slammed the gate hoping to shut us up. we're bad, yes we are. but we were having so much fun.

by 6 AM, we ushered the last visitor out the door. it was real sweet though that some decided to stay and give in to my pagiinarte na bawal umuwi hangga't di pa tapos birthday ko (meaning 11:59PM of that day). hehehe.

we all woke up to the heavenly smell of breakfast at 11 in the morning. the living room looked like it's been through world war III. but there was dude, standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding a sandok with one hand and a pot holder in the other. and then one by one, sleepy and hungover people started walking out the rooms. there was jen, chix, marlette, don, den, bobet and JT.

those moments after breakfast would be my "birthday picture perfect moment". we were in the middle of a mess but to me, everything was perfect. it felt like the world was in perfect sync. marlette started sweeping the garage. jen started on the living room. even dude and i have a strategy - he would mop the floor and then i'll follow him around to dry it. and then people just started righting odds and ends in a somewhat lazy harmony.

but it was when marlette pointed to the kitchen that i felt a gentle tug at my heart. there was don returning stuff in the ref, den putting the plates in the sink, and chix washing the dishes - my SOUVENIRS, marlette said. don, den, and chix who were the Ex's college barkada...i wouldn't have met them had it not been for him. and being with them used to remind of how so much have changed in my life...i realized then that yes, they are my SOUVENIRS. TREASURES even. i consider them my friends now. not just my Ex's friends. and it's just amazing how these people who were so much a part of my painful past can now bring great joy to my life.

(tut-tut)

there goes my phone, i read the message and laughed out loud:
MAMA: Happy Birthday PANGGA! Umuwi ka na kasi magluluto pa tayo.

hehe. classic talaga mama ko. i hurriedly took a bath and met iyah (who, thankfully was in glorietta).

my saturday celebration was more like what i had in mind. i invited only a few people so we can talk more and catch up. chie was there, so was iyah and arvie and roma. and then there was also eva and vi. the food my brother and mom cooked (i missed all the cooking because i got home late. hehe) were all delicious. up to now, i get hungry when i think of my brother's kare-kare. yum!

after dinner, we went to hang out at the Lanai Red - this cool bar in WestGate near Ayala Town Center. i felt kinda bad really that everybody else was still in the mood to hang out, but i was already too sleepy because i've been up all night the previous night. i became a party pooper at my own party and went home at 2AM.

eva and I still spent some more bonding moments while getting ready for bed. it was when my head hit the pillow that i realized that this is one almost complete birthday. everyone that matters in my life shared it with me. old friends and new friends and family.

my world isn't so bleak anymore. compared to my birthday last year (i didn't want to remember the turmoil so i didn't blog about it. hehe), it felt good to be looking forward to occassions like this again. although that's not to say that my past will never creep up and grab me again. i know there will still be moments...but i'm stronger now. and my heart is healthier now. :)

***

my nephew is growing so big already...he's thinner now because he's too malikot. but i was glad to discover that he can speak more words now and can tell a story that i can understand. :)

these are pics i took on my birthday...he was hanging out in my room and wreaking havoc in it. hehe.

nope, that is not a hat, that's the box of his birthday present :)

***

a birthday realization:
silence really IS deafening.

Book 6!

2005-07-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

this has been a long delayed post and i intentionally didn't make the title more descriptive because for me, there is only one Book 6 (and Book 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7 for that matter. hehe)

July 16, at 7:30AM, I excitedly walked inside Powerbooks - ATC clutching my reservation slip dated Feb 27 on my hand. I expected the place to be jampacked, but imagine my disbelief at being directed to stand behind a girl whose line was already snaking through eight freaking bookshelves towards the counter. I looked to my right and saw 5 people (no, i'm not exaggerating) standing in front of the supposedly non-reserved books-only counter holding the very object of my obsession the past what? 4? 5 months?

I thought: this is not the way a tired, hungry, sleepless, over-excited girl (uhrm, woman) should be treated especially when it comes to Harry Potter books! I nearly cursed centralized airconditioning to oblivion (it was stuffy and hot inside the bookstore i swear!) while i watched in dazed amusement as a man lashed out at a staff for "punishing" those people who were buying reserved books. Honestly, their system sucks. How can it be that i am holding a slip of paper (that they gave me) proving that i paid 500 bucks to reserve my copy but they still feel the need to countercheck it with their list in the PC???

Well so anyway, by 9:30 I was already sitting in starbucks reading the first chapter of the book.

RIA, stop reading when you get to this part because you will most likely try to strangle me again just as you did when you read my post with the Book 6 Teasers. (But really, after all this time, how can you still NOT know that Sirius will die?! You've had my book for months!)

I finally finished the book Monday morning. I had to stop at Chapter 29 on Sunday night because I got a bad migraine from reading and crying. Hehe. Man, did i cry when Dumbledore died. I saved the chapter on the funeral hoping that reading it in a public place wouldn't make me cry as much. Later, i realized what a stupid idea that was because i couldn't stop my tears even when i was reading in the shuttle on the way to work. hahaha.

I have mixed (and biased) opinions on the book. You see, I liked Book 5 the least because Sirius' death overshadowed everything (can't help it, i love the guy). I've only read that book about 3 times. The last one out of necessity because I wanted to refresh my memory for Book 6. Anyway, Book 6 was actually good...but, because I also love Dumbledore (even more than Sirius, I think), I guess it would be yet another HP book that would take me a long time to read again. Heck, I was browsing the last chapters this morning and it still made my eyes water when I got to the Chapters discussing Dumbledore's death. hehehe.

So anyway, here are my thoughts on the book. and questions too. hehe.

**
I remember reading in JK Rowling's website that there are chapters in Half Blood Prince that she originally intended for the earlier books but she decided against it...however, i really didn't see the point of the first few chapters of HBP (the muggle prime minister meeting with the minister of magic). Hehehe.

**
I think Slughorn is a shady character. I don't know why.
I didn't like Fleur for Bill at first, but she seemed to have redeemed herself in the end, didn't she? :)

**
And maybe this is a stupid question, but i just have to ask...if the dementors already walked out of Azkaban to join Lord Voldemort, who's guarding Azkaban now?

**
Bellatrix and Narcissa (the bad people) are humans after all. :) I like that JK thought to portray them that way (in that chapter where Snape made the Unbreakable Vow)

**
I was kinda frustrated that it still wasn't revealed what made Dumbledore trust Snape oh so unconditionally. And i would have liked to have known a little background about Dumbledore sana...how he became so powerful and all that.

**
I wonder what JK thought when she chose the title for the book. Is there more to Snape being half blood and his mom's maiden last name being Prince? Would Snape being the Half Blood Prince have any significance at all in the last Book?

**
What happened to Dumbledore's hand? He didn't have the chance to explain that to Harry in their meetings. Or did he? Did I miss it?

**
I loved the tender moments between Dumbledore and Harry.
One when Harry admitted to Dumbledore that he is a "Dumbledore's man through and through"
And another when, after getting the (fake) Horcrux, a weak Dumbledore said he's not worried...because he's with Harry. (am sure there's more, but i couldn't remember them at the moment)

**
I was intrigued by the conversation Hagrid overheard in the forest between Dumbledore and Snape. When Snape was said that Dumbledore took too much for granted and that maybe he didn't want to do "it" anymore and then Dumbledore said that Snape had to do "it" because he agreed to. Could they have been talking about the Unbreakable Vow? I'd like to believe that Dumbledore's death is all part of his "grand plan" and that Snape, for all his evil ways would redeem himself by dying in the last book for the sake of good.

**
The one who found the real Locket Horcrux and replaced it with the fake one...R.A.B...could it be Regalus Black?

**
I loved how the funeral was written. The merpeople and centaurs paying tribute... So solemn. And sad. Sniff. I still hope he will come back in Book 7.
**

ohhhh...i can't wait to see how it all ends. and when that time comes, i know i'll be both happy and sad. happy that i've read another good book (i have faith the JK will not disappoint) and sad that it will be Harry's final journey. Some laugh when they hear us talk about the books as if the characters in it are real. I know not a lot of people understand, but to us HP lovers, Harry and Ron and Hermione and Dumbledore and Sirius and everybody else are as real to us as the people around us. And we can't help but share in their joys and sadness and triumph and pain.

I consider us lucky, for I think not all can have that gift of appreciation and enthusiasm for the books they read. :)

a joke...

2005-06-29T15:40:00.000+08:00

Ponkan at mansanas sa loob ng ref...

Ponkan: "Grabe! Ang lamig naman dito sa ref! Parang di ko na kaya!"
Mansanas: "Hala! Nagsasalita yung ponkan!"

gawd, i must have a really boring life because this ultra corny joke totally cracked me up...

*smiles*

someone. anyone. please take me to the beach. please?

PAHIYAS 2005: May 14-15

2005-06-08T13:38:00.000+08:00

It was an unusually hot morning as jen, shawie and i went to meet chix, her family and melvs on our way to Lucban, Quezon. it was my first time to go to the Pahiyas Festival so i didn't have big expectations. i was just basically excited over the prospect of going some place i've never been to before.

this is us: jen, chix, melvs, me, shawie, mike and macel

we took some time resting after arriving at chix's house (it was sweltering hot outside!). her family made sure that we never went hungry during our whole stay there. despite the house being full of other visitors, our little group always had the first dibs at the feast spread on the buffet table. wasn't that sweet? :)

come 4:00, we were ready to go out and explore the world of Lucban. Off the top of our list is Pansit Hab-Hab, whose name we murdered so much that karma decided to take over and made sure we exhaust ourselves first before finally getting our hands on it. hehehe.

panalo naman talaga ang mga pangalan na binigay namin sa pansit na ito. see, me, macel and melvs all had different names for it:
Me: Pansit Hap-Hap (one hap pansit and one hap pansit nga po...)
Macel: Pansit Had-Had (hahahaha. ewww? well at least katunog diba? check out what Melvs calls it...)
Melvs: Pansit LUB-LUB (eh???)

we started walking towards the church and took some pictures. and then, because we refused to eat before leaving the house (because we were saving our appetites), we were ravenous as we walked from one street to another looking for the infamous Pansit Hab-Hab. and you'd think chix, having spent most of her childhood vacations in Lucban would know where to buy it right? but noooooo! i swear, we looked everywhere but could not see one store that sells pansit served in a banana leaf with no fork. we couldn't take it anymore, so we decided to stop by this famous place that sells the best (or so they say) halo-halo. looking back now, i'd say i really did eat a tall glass of real good halo-halo. we would have been more appreciative, if only our mouths weren't watering and our taste buds screaming for pansit hab-hab and pansit hab-hab alone. hehe. we finished off our halo-halos and mais con yelos and then went back to hunting. 6:00 came and the sun was already setting as well as our hopes of ever finding the elusive pansit. we passed by the Plaza and debated whether we should go on to the next agenda (which is the grotto) or keep on looking for the pansit...

and then there it was. i don't remember exactly who saw it first. but imagine our delight when we found carts and carts of Pansit Hab-Hab in the Plaza! and what's more, they're giving it out for FREE! how cool is that? hehehe. it turns out they have a contest for the best pansit hab-hab. they had these adorable sidecars decked with vegetables, anahaw, and kiping among others. they were so colorful and creative and the fun is just starting. i was sooo happy!

look at our smiles at finally getting the fruit of our massive hunt for the pansit hab-hab

we washed our food down with ice cold coke and off we trekked to the grotto. and i'm not exaggerating when i say TREK. you really have to literally take a hike up the grotto if you want to get to the top. you see, this place used to be a mountain standing beside the church (or chapel? it's too small to be a church). and then some really bored Lucban people decided that they want to change the sceneries and make a holy place out of this mountain. from the bottom, there are stations of the cross going up. at the top of the grotto is a gigantic statue of Jesus Christ decked in red and white robes that the people can see from miles and miles away.

check it out. that's a steep climb isn't it? took us more than an hour because we went from one side to the other so we can pass by all the stations of the cross.
the breathtaking view of the sunset and the roads and houses below more than made up for the exhaustion when we reached the top.

we went home to eat and rest a bit. come 10:30PM, we were out on the prowl again. this time, our goal was houses. we wanted to see the transformation of houses - from plain, normal looking houses to colorful, lively ones. as we turned into the first street, we were struck with awe at the picturesque view. it looked like something straight out of a painting - only, with people actually moving around. on the sidewalks were coconut leaves(?) and actual coconut branches. and then there were lots and lots of different kinds of vegetables waiting to adorn the walls of the houses. and of course, there were the vibrant-colored kipings. some houses looked better at night. others bloomed when the sun is out. but all of them are beautiful nonetheless. here are some of the houses i liked. :)

i loved those hats! and nope, that is not a statue on the other pic. hehe. that's an actual living person trying to arrange them vegetables.

funny: chix and her mom wanted to buy tomatoes for breakfast. but when they got to the store, the owner won't sell them. kasi daw ilalagay pa nila sa pahiyas. hehehe. those tomatoes on the left pic are fresh, firm tomatoes, i tell you. and there are crates and crates of them right outside the house!

and presenting, our favorite house. :) you can't see it, but beside the green and red kiping are dozens of coconut halves (the coconut meat still in it), with tomatoes stuck in the middle. and then that flower under the window is made from corn (the yellow part) and sitaw and siling labuyo (the green part). this flower is set on top of corn husk. :) galing no? very creative! loved it!
i thoroughly enjoyed this trip, and vowed to go to more fiestas this year. :) i would LOVE to go to the Maskara Festival in Bacolod...nuninuninu...

am procrastinating i know...

2005-05-30T23:26:00.000+08:00

i have yet to blog about my trip to the Pahiyas Festival last May 14 and 15. I already have a draft of that post, but i can't publish it yet because am too lazy to do the picture thumbnails...

and then there's the Zoobic Safari trip last weekend which i can still procrastinate some more because the pics aren't uploaded yet (damn workstation lockdown disabled our USB ports. sigh)...

and who knows how slow my page loads when people using dial-up accounts try to view it what with it looking more and more like a photo album as months pass...

and well...when internet lockdown at work becomes effective sometime in the very near future (like maybe in the next month at most), who knows when i'll be able to update my blog again.

i swear. am gonna work up the energy to update real soon.

p.s.
sis mec...took me a looonnggg time to figure it out. i knew i got this from PEx, but for the longest time i've been unable to figure out what it means...

TBIYTC = the best is yet to come

aysus...DITO ko lang pala makikita. in big fonts pa. hay! and to think i've been visiting this site for months!

i dream of...

2005-05-20T19:05:00.000+08:00

...fir tree-lined streets
...tulips growing on sidewalks
...beautiful sunsets in the horizon
...swaying palm trees and silvery white sand amidst the clear, blue sea
...yellow leaves falling in autumn
...flowers blossoming in spring
...little birds chirping in the morning
...crickets at night

i dream of quiet, uncomplicated, blissful thoughts everyday,
of a light heart, skipping with delight at each unmarred memory.

i dream of freedom,
of boundless enthusiasm.

i dream of unjaded views and beliefs,
of a fresh, new start.

i dream of a new life.

sigh...is that too much to ask? :(

ang lakas ko naman kay Lord...

2005-05-12T18:35:00.000+08:00

I haven’t been sleeping well the last couple of days because I’ve been haunted by (recurring) unwanted dreams of something I try not to think about when I’m awake. The last 4 days, I’ve been waking up more restless, troubled, and distressed than refreshed.

And so, in a desperate effort before I slept last night, I prayed to God not to send those unwanted dreams my way even if just for the night. I badly wanted to rest my mind. I’m tired of thinking troubled thoughts everyday.

I think God heard my plea. He must have swished and flicked his mighty hand to block that particular unwanted dream...

He sent me a nightmare instead.

Hehe. Oh well. Better be thinking about a non-existent mad killer trying to slit my throat in a dark area beside a swimming pool than...something else. :)

Distinctly Galera - Apr 30 to May 2.

2005-05-09T19:20:00.000+08:00

10-hr travel. We left the Buendia terminal at around 5:30 AM and arrived in White Beach Puerto galera at 3:30 PM. Why did it take us that long? You might ask. It's because we made a mistake of boarding a RORO bound to Calapan that leaves at 9:30AM rather than wait for the ferry going straight to White Beach at 12NN. And of course none of us idiots knew that it takes 3 hrs to travel from Calapan to White Beach. hehehe. I had fun though. We saw more of Mindoro on the way. And we stopped by this pretty view and was able to take pictures.

zinni, jen, jt, me, lette and irene

Reservations! Reservations! And because we thought we weren't pursuing this trip, we cancelled our reservation at the last minute...and ended up having to spend the rest of our afternoon looking for a place to stay. Finally before sunset, with our patience stretched to the very limits, we settled into our crib for the night. It was cool though. We slept so well that we woke up all refreshed and ready for the day ahead.

People, People, Everywhere. OK. so it was a long weekend. but i didn't expect the beach area to look like a mob hit it. the ferries were carrying throngs and throngs of people nonstop! modern day exodus yata ito. next time, maybe i'll spread out my beach trips over the year. never only during summers. nasstress ako instead of being relaxed.

Dancer-Flasher. On Saturday night, because we were too tired to drink and try out the Mindoro Sling, we contented ourselves with just hanging out at the beach (we couldn't stand staying in this table we originally snagged for dinner because they had the speakers blaring at our faces). At around midnight, we were watching this girl at a bar who was dancing (she's a great dancer and she's really voluptuous) wearing a bikini top and denim shorts. Either she was really drunk or was totally drugged, but when the people's call to "take it off! take it off!" got louder, she finally gave in. at first it was just flashes of her boobs. and then she'd pull at her bikini top for a little while longer...and longer...and longer. she even posed for the camera showing off her boobs! and then it was her shorts. she danced at the pole showing off her black thongs and butt. it made for good entertainment for a while until i felt things were starting to get out of hand. the tanods came to her rescue and stopped the show to the disappointment of the audience. i was actually relieved that nobody from the crowd dared touch her while she was dancing-flashing. can you just imagine how many drunken men are out there that time?

Dead Corals. had it been only a year ago when i raved about how beautiful the corals were in galera? snorkeling was the one thing i was looking forward to in our trip. and i was severely disappointed to see dead and destroyed corals in the famed coral garden. the colorful plants and anemones that made the underwater world so alive in galera are almost gone. yes there were still lots of fishes, but am guessing they were only staying because they're already used to people feeding them. it was so so sad. i didn't last an hour (or maybe i did). but the waves got me (and the lack of excitement) and made me dizzy so i had to rest by the boat.

A Lot of Back Shots. I don't know why. Maybe our faces aren't worth gracing Irene's digicam but...i noticed that there are more shots of our backs than our faces. hehehe.

Two bottles of Gin, Lime and Sprite. was all it took to make a mess out of our drunken little group. hehehe. We should have taken a picture of ourselves after downing those GSM Blues. That way i'd have Before and After shots with the concoction's pic in between.

Over-all? I learned that you will only have great fun if you don't let all the stress and pressure overwhelm your trip. That, plus of course, good company who wouldn't let your mood level fall below terrific, and who would pick after your mess and make sure you're safe and warm and tucked up in bed before he falls asleep. :) Thanks JT for taking care of all five of us. hehehe.

How can i blog and not post this pic?

am so sorry guys. it still makes me smile. :) humor me. hihi.

HP Mania!

2005-04-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!

Jen, Marlette and I are self-confessed HP addicts. As early as March, we already have HP6 reserved in Powerbooks. And in preparation for its release, Jen and I read Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix all over again in search for little tidbits of information that might give us clues about what Half Blood Prince will be about.

We are HP geeks because we can spend hours and hours dissecting the books (and Marlette can quote the EXACT sentence as it was written there, i swear!). We are geeks because we would prefer to stay up at 3AM talking about HP instead of sleeping off a long, tiring day. and we WILL be the three HP geeks who will be in Greenbelt, specifically Coffee Bean's comfy couches come July 16, each reading Half Blood Prince with cups of untouched frappes in front of us. hehehe. yes, we've already set our HP Date. And because both Marlette and Jen have their books reserved in Powerbooks G3, I will be traveling from Powerbooks ATC to Greenbelt just to read it with them. hahaha.

I was a bit disappointed though that our company decided to offer reservations (with a 28% discount on the retail price) about two months too late. siiggghhh...i would have gotten it for the same price i got Goblet of Fire sana...and that's only P1,150.

Oh well.

Here are random facts about the Half Blood Prince (taken from http://www.mugglenet.com/index.shtml):

* We will learn a lot more about Voldemort in this book.
* The opening chapter of Book 6 was originally planned for the early parts of Book 1 (Perhaps we get a more in-depth story of what happened the night Harry's parents died.)
* We will find out what happened to Hagrid's half brother Grawp. He will be a bit more controllable in Book 6.
* We will find out exactly why Sirius was killed.
* Harry becomes even more powerful in Book 6.
* We will find out why Dumbledore trusts Snape.
* We will find out what happened to Wormtail aka Peter Pettigrew.
* More about the animosity between Snape and Sirius will be revealed.
* We'll definitely find out what Snape's worst fear is, and it'll be important.
* We will find out what exactly Dudley saw when he looked at the dementors.
* The reason Voldemort and Harry both didn't die when Voldemort tried to kill Harry will be revealed.
* We will see more of Draco's mother, Narcissa Malfoy, now that Lucius is busy.
* We'll learn more about Harry's scar.
* Moaning Myrtle will make an appearance again, as will Tonks.
* More about Voldemort's birth will be revealed, thus helping us understand why he is so evil.
* Muggles begin to notice "more and more odd" occurrences.
* The wizarding world is really at war.
* Harry will tell his dearest friends about the prophesy after it sinks in to him.
* We will learn more about Harry's relatives, including his grandparents.
* We will find out what happened to Sirius's motorbike.
* It's very important in the plot that Harry has his mother's eyes, and that her wand was very good for charms.
* Something HUGE will be revealed about Lily Potter.

what could it be?! what could it be???

i am positively tingling with excitement right now. hihihi.

July 16 = Red Letter Day

the things i did differently in boracay this time around...

2005-04-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

mar 31 - apr 4

the gang: richard, chix, don, den, me, jeff

1. i slept earlier and woke up earlier
yes, 12NN never found me still snoozing in our cold room and soft bed. and 3AM never found me still gallivanting and drinking myself to near-delusion.

2. i only got drunk 1 out of 4 nights
no, i wasn't intending to be drunk as can be proven by my NOT ordering Bangenge at Pier 1. after my traitorous experience with the tequila sunrise in club paraw on our first night, it was just a bottle of vodka ice for me.

3. island hopping!
a must for first timers. i wasn't able to go island hopping the last time so i made sure i'll get to do it this time. a little note though, start very early in the morning so you'll get to enjoy the sceneries without getting heatstroke, and, make sure the boat has a roof of some sort so you won't get toasted beyond imagination (yes, that's me. and am naturally morena to begin with!)

while waiting for the boat that would take us to crystal cove and puka beach

cystal cove shots and the batugan dogee. unfortunately, we weren't able to explore Cave 2 because the tide was high.

my little boys (who grew up too fast) strutting their stuff at the puka beach

4. jonah's shake
you have got to try this! the best shakes in the island for only about 65-75 bucks! Jonah's is located at Station 1 right beside Pier 1.

5. breakfast
on our last day, we woke up at 7AM and i had my first EVER legitimate breakfast in Boracay. yay!!!

6. eat-all-you-can seafood
though crabs and lobsters weren't included, we were happy with the P295++ buffet at the Boracay Peninsula. they had comfy setting too! low tables and mattress on the sand draped with white cloth.

7. glitter tattoo
prettier than henna, which i think i can also do, if only i knew what kind of paste they use. hehe.

8. cheap meals!
though we sometimes indulged in pricey dinner and breakfast, we're also regulars at Smoke. we also tried Blueberry and Mickay...these heaven-sent restos tucked in the palengke near D'mall. they offer meals for less than a hundred bucks.

9. walk, walk, walk and walk some more.
and i thought i've already seen every nook and cranny of the island the last time i was there. it took us 4 whole hours just to shop for pasalubongs. that's not to mention our everyday afternoon strolls and midnight walks in search for hotties and sexy bodies. haha.

we own this place. yes we do. haha.

10. sunsets, sunsets and more sunsets. we can never get enough of it!

the problem is...

2005-04-06T11:30:00.000+08:00

i still somehow expect to get this view each time i go outside the house or look outside my bedroom window. and i get incredibly sad each time, when i realize that indeed, i am back in noisy, polluted, chaotic manila. :(

oh, and iyah, did i say it's easier to accept this time that am back?
i was wrong. take me back to boracay please...

comic relief from an 8-year-old

2005-03-21T21:23:00.000+08:00

so here's the thing: marlette and i has been totally harassed and stressed organizing our project's summer outing. i was so tired that i was finding it hard to even enjoy what we've been coordinating and planning the past two weeks.

next time i get confronted with this situation (God help me, i INTEND not to have a next time!), i know the solution: bring a kid with you and listen to them talk. this conversation really did make me laugh.

johann: (to khatz, as we were abt to start the games) sasali ka din sa laro?
khatz: (who's 5 months pregnant) ay hindi, baka mapaanak ako bigla eh.
johann: ay may baby ka pala jan. kala ko mataba ka lang din tulad ko.

hahahaha. i could have kissed her for making me laugh.
yes, that's johann on the pic. :)

Things I Learned...

2005-03-14T16:52:00.000+08:00

from friends' advices and self-help articles i've read. :)

1) i am not a perfect person. but i deserve to be swept off my feet because i know i'm worth it. :)

2) decisions are never right or wrong. no one can ever tell you what to do. so it's ultimately the choices you make that determine your happiness.

3) it is always best to take time in everything - making decisions, healing yourself, being single, accepting your self-worth, falling in love, etc.

4) important things may slip out of your fingers no matter how much you hold on to it. you just have to be comforted with the thought that it is happier in the palm of the one it chose to rest into.

5) pain consumes you. but at least you know you're capable of loving someone. your wounds will heal if you allow it to heal. and in the end you'll know that scarred people are beautiful people indeed.

6) regret also consumes you. but molds you into a better person - or otherwise if you choose to.

7) forgiveness makes your heart light.

8) there is no such thing as never-ending love. only steadfast love weathering all kinds of ups and downs and the loss of the heart-fluttering, stomach-wrenching thrill of young love. the kind of love that may not always be on a high, but it does not mean it's not there anymore.

9) the world may crumble, you may walk through hell, but in the end when you've seen the light, you'll find out that you're stronger than you thought you were.

10) Love is a choice - waking up each day knowing you'll still choose to hold his/her hand, enough to say "It was worth it".

11) You may find another love, but there can never be another you, so continue taking care of yourself. :)

and because we are a group that talk too much...

2005-03-02T13:20:00.000+08:00

setting: Coffee Bean - Gbelt
time: 1AM

marlett: so ikaw naman JT...ano naman ang kwento mo?
JT: oo na! wala na kong kwenta!

eh?

dapat kasi hindi talaga nagkakape at nagpupuyat pag may pasok kinabukasan...tsk. tsk.

i just realized...

2005-03-01T12:11:00.000+08:00

after all the frustration in counting the months, remembering the moments, waiting for The Day...my greatest hurdle just passed and i didn't even notice it.

let me give myself a pat on the back for recovering so well. :)
here comes the sun...

my biggest goals for the year...

2005-02-17T20:00:00.000+08:00

nope. not new year's resolutions...but things i want to do and accomplish this year. :)

Top 1 - visit rhea and vida in singapore (in lieu of that Bohol trip we've been wanting to take this november. goodbye dolphins! see you next year!)
Top 2 - learn how to drive (and make my dad trust me enough to let me take the car to ATC)
Top 3 - go back to boracay

at this point, it looks like my goals will be realized in reverse order. hihi. and it also follows that i cannot include SAVE MONEY as one of my goals for this year. hehehe. i think am destined to die a poor lady...ok lang. well-traveled naman. :p hahaha.

too many broken hearts around me...

2005-02-11T11:30:00.000+08:00

some expected. others not.

but fact is, i hate to see hurting hearts. especially hearts of people who are dear to me. and just like rhea, each night i pray, that not one of my friends ever feel the same pain i went through a year ago.

am bothered. am sad. am stressed. :(

i need a peach-cream flavored fruitella lollipop.

gawd...am gonna miss rhea. :(

2005-02-09T15:10:00.000+08:00

the other day when i got to work, i found this note on my desk:

imma,
wag ka na umiyak...
your tears are well appreciated
but i'd rather see you smiling. :)

and naturally, being the crybaby that i am, i cried. :(

sigh, i'll never have another friend like her. and i swear, when i get the chance (and the money), i'll go visit her in singapore.

hookah! hookah!

2005-02-04T13:12:00.000+08:00

whoever said that you shouldn't go out and stay out late on weekdays when you have work the following day, probably didn't have as cool and fun friends as mine.

wanting to try out something new, our little group of pasaways had a hookah! hookah! bonding last night. off we went to Ziggurat to try out the pricey meditteranean food and ambiance. i was never really price conscious when it comes to food - as long as i like it. but last night, to be honest, i didn't enjoy dinner that much. hehehe.

for the appetizer, we ordered papadum(?), which looked like thin crust, toasted pita bread and tasted like crackers. this is dipped in mango chutney, which tasted like spicy tamarind. it was somewhat sweet at first, and then sour, and then spicy - a burst of flavor that my tastebuds actually didn't like. hehehe.

and then we had kofti(?) which is kebab, (that tasted exactly like Brother's grilled burger. hehehe.) with grilled tomatoes and sweet onions (i don't know how they made it sweet but bobet said it tasted good). it actually wasn't so bad. except that i can order a half pound burger in Brother's for 130 bucks, while this kebab costs more than 700 bucks. haha.

and then glenn ordered cous-cous with beef something, which i know i wouldn't like because my best friend and i had a bad cooking experience with cous-cous a few years back. true enough, when the platter (more like bilao) arrived, the dish looked like bird food and tasted like parmesan cheese. aside from that, it cost 500 bucks. hahaha.

but i guess, it really wasn't that bad because everybody else enjoyed the food (except for the cous-cous). maybe am just not born to be adventurous with food. hehe. am probably fated to eat crabs ang shrimps and lobsters until the day i die.

now what i like about Ziggurat is the ambiance. we ate on low tables lit by a candle lamp in the middle, while seated on big, comfy soft pillows. it was really cozy and after eating, we had to fight the urge to lie down and close our eyes. hehehe. we would have stayed all night (the place is open 24 hours can you believe that?) if only we don't have to go to work the following day.

and then came the highlight of the night: The Hookah - a waterpipe connected to a tube of flavored tobacco (for the night, we chose cherry). it's supposed to be very low in nicotine and the waterpipe is supposed to filter out the nicotine even more. while singing "puff...the magic draguuun", we each took turns smoking from the pipe (yes, there's only one, and yes, it may sound gross that we're sharing, but hey, we're friends! and i have yet to see a person who can smoke the whole thing by himself. hehehe) and the non-smokers got dizzy and the smokers got light-headed almost instantly. hehehe. i wish i have a pic of the hookah. it's an intimidating piece of contraption - something you wouldn't want your parents to see you with because it'll look like you're having a pot session. hahaha.

and well, of course, as i always say, it really doesn't matter where you are as long as you're with good company. and the reason why i immensely enjoyed the night, despite the food, is because of the little group of nuts am with. :) all of us were being silly and we laughed so loud that we robbed the place of any hint of a romantic ambiance for the couple dining in the next table. hehe.

and so this morning i woke up at 8 and lethargically walked past the manager at 10:30. who cares if core hours start at 9? i had a late night. hihi. :-D

Jan 28.

2005-01-28T16:25:00.000+08:00

From: maxwellandfriends@yahoogroups.com
To: maxwellandfriends@yahoogroups.com
Date: 26 Jan 2005 16:02:23 -0000
Subject: [maxwellandfriends] Reminder - Jeff's berdey

We would like to remind you of this upcoming event.

Jeff's berdey

Date: Friday, January 28, 2005
Time: All Day

he would have been 23 today. Last night, i prayed that his soul finds peace and that justice for him and his family would come soon...

this morning as i signed in to my yahoo account, i couldn't believe my eyes. I blinked a couple of times to see if i'm really seeing what i'm seeing. but there it is: a lone mail from Jeff.

imagine my disbelief! but then again, there's no reason to be spooked after all...

Jeffrey Gonzales wrote:
To: maxwellandfriends@yahoogroups.com
From: Jeffrey Gonzales
Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 06:44:14 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: [maxwellandfriends] Reminder - Jeff's berdey

Dear Friends of Jeffrey,

Hello. This is Jeff's brother, Creighton.

Yes, January 28 is Jeff's birthday. He would have been 23.

I hope I didn't spook any of you by sending this email using his account. But this is the only way I could send this message to the group. And I'd like to take this opportunity to say THANK YOU for being there for me and my family when Jeff passed. But most especially, for being TRUE FRIENDS to Jeff all these years.

From all the stories that have gone around since he passed, we all know that the past year was a troubled one for Jeff. But one of the highlights for him last year was your Christmas get-together in Sucat (was it Dencio's or Gerry's? I forget). We waited up for him from that outing and he seemed in high spirits coming from seeing all - or most - of you.

His highschool years in St. Francis, and with the Maxwell Class, was really when my brother "came out of his shell" It was there that he developed his varied interests and honed his skills. It was there that he developed some of the closest and dearest friendships of his short life.

In honor of this, we the family of Jeff, together with the comapany he worked for, is working to put up an endowment (scholarship) fund. It will be called the Jeffrey Wernher L. Gonzales Endowment Fund through the auspices of SYKES Asia, Inc.

An endowment fund is a type of fund that, once set up, the principal amount cannot be withdrawn from or closed. Only the annual interest earnings can be used for the scholarship's requirements. This will ensure that it will perpetually benefit the purpose in which it has been created.

We hope to initially sponsor a 1st year highschool student for 2005-2006 but if we do not set it up in time then it will be for 2006-2007. Once our first 1st year scholar enters 2nd year, we will sponsor another 1st year scholar and so on, and so forth, until we will have a scholar in each year level.

This will be a FULL scholarship for each. This means the tuiton, books, uniform and even a daily allowance will be provided for. We envision this to be a coveted scholarship that would benefit an underpriveleged but very deserving individual or individuals to receive an education from teh Scince High School.

I will inform you when this fund has been set up. If you so desire, you may contribute to the fund then. The larger the fund becomes, the more interest it will earn. This, in turn, will allow us to sponsor additional scholars in the future.

We hope that by doing this, we will ensure that Jeffrey's legacy and memory will live on.

For now, though, I will ask that you continue to pray for the eternal repose of his soul. And to silently greet Jeff a "happy birthday".

Thank you all and I hope this finds you well.

Best.

Creighton

his sister and uncle mentioned this when we went to the burial (which, by the way, i knew made Jeff smile because it was done beautifully) and i never had doubts that it would push through.

it makes me teary-eyed thinking about how his family went and are going through great lengths in honor of his memory. i remember creighton in the burial, asking us to keep in touch with his family because it will keep jeff's memory alive. and i know, despite the silence in our highschool mailing list, that jeff isn't far from everyone's thoughts...

happy birthday jeff! beam us a smile from up there.

on a lighter side...

2005-01-25T08:45:00.000+08:00

i didn't expect it would be this soon...but yes, i've decided am going back to Boracay this summer. yaayyyy! :)

and well...it looks like everything will be all set and paid for before i even get to tell my parents about it - again. hehe.

************

my nephew will be turning two years old next month. his vocabulary is still very limited to mama, papa, meme, and a lot of other incoherent one word babble. i've asked a lot of people about this but they said that's normal development for little boys. last time he came for a visit, he ran to me and shouted "Tita!" and it's the sweetest sound ever. :)

i am against toys that are remotely related to violence. but after seeing how much he enjoyed playing with our maid's son's toy gun...i finally gave in and bought him one for Christmas, constantly reminding his mom not to let him play with it too much. teehee.

this is jairo striking a pose for tita :)
family arrangement only allow our side of the family to see him at most twice a month. oh what joy it brings every time i discover something new that jairo can do. as of last, whenever you ask him what Nemo said, he would delightfully shout: "hu-ha-ha!" (from that part of the movie where they baptized him as sharkbait and kept chanting "sharkbait, hu-ha-ha!")

sigh. my nephew is such a little bundle of joy!

************

another friend (yes, rhea may aquino, that's you) is about to take a huge step for her career. and that means leaving the project, the country, and our happy little group of friends in pursuit of uhrm...greener pastures. and that also means no more impromptu coffee breaks at starbucks the fort at night, no more sleepy kulitan in the afternoon, no more let's-soothe-each-other's-heartache-with-words-of-wisdom bonding til morning, no more senseless talks, no more lunch breaks na kelangan pa ng memo...and a lot of other stuff.

sometimes you just can't help but hate CHANGE.

but rhea, because i love you, i'll pray that this path leads you to a more fulfilling and rewarding job...pero sana hindi mo na ipagbawal umiyak sa bon voyage party mo diba? hehe.

i'll miss you. that isn't so bad an excuse to cry isn't it?

p.s.
dear Lord, sana when rhea gets there, matuto na sya mag-friendster. hahaha. :)

Justice for Jeff.

2005-01-12T14:30:00.000+08:00

i have a tight-knit highschool groupie. we were a small class in highschool - composed of only 13 girls and 6 boys. even when we went our separate ways in college, most of us still kept in touch by getting together on birthdays, summers and Christmases.

Christmas 2004 was a special one for us because it marked our group's 10th Christmas together. We celebrated it by exchanging gifts, having dinner at Dencio's Sucat and hanging out at Julie's place afterwards. Throughout the night, we exchanged stories, caught up with each other's lives, joked around...oblivious to the tragedy that is about to befall one of us...

JEFF
i can only remember snippets of our conversation that night. and am sorry that our last conversation (when we were in the car on our way back) had to be about work, work, work, and not about things that really matter and other things that (probably) bothered him especially during that time. i like looking at this picture of him though. i can remember him laughing during dinner over our friends' antics. he laughs easily and cracks real funny jokes too. i want that image of him etched in my memory.

i'll forego ranting about the newspaper article printed in Star and Abante Tonite (the stupid newspapers don't have an online archive anyway). i just want to say this:

To the editors of Abante Tonite:
i hope in the future you find more newsworthy topics for your headline instead of making a scandal out of a private person's life. and please. if you can't even get the name right, how are we even sure your news is credible?

To the editors of Philippine Star:
two men who has a heated argument, one of which, finds a fire extinguisher, while the other shoots him on the head in an attempt to DEFEND himself, does not make much sense to anyone who knows what DEFEND means. does it???

How the killer was able to get inside the office, considering he's not even an employee and there are supposed to be guards on the building and you need a proximity ID in order to open the door, shoot my friend, go out that damned door again, pass by the floor guard, wait for the elevator to go up the 25th floor, claim his license in the building lobby, and walk free, is beyond me.

i don't want his face hanging around my blog, so here's a link to the killer's Friendster profile --> Sherwin dela Cruz. anyone who knows him and his whereabouts, kindly inform the police, or email me.

Jeff was buried last saturday. he was supposed to turn 23 yrs old on January 28. I pray that his family and everyone who loves him would find justice by that time.

am still actually in denial. sometimes i just can't believe that he won't be popping me kamusta messages in YM anymore...or his ultra long MSN nick would never go online again...

i will be praying for you my friend. you will be greatly missed.

hap-hap-hap-happy new year to me!

2005-01-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

if the first day of the year is any indication of how my whole 2005 will be like...then i'll definitely be bored to death this year. hehe.

i don't know when exactly i turned into a total palaboy. i swear. i used to be such a homebody. i loved staying at home, watching tv and stuffing myself up with all kinds of junk food.

but now, staying at home bores me nearly to death (seeing as how am still alive right now). am aching to go out right about now...i wanted so bad to watch the fireworks in ATC but no one would come with me. :(

i'd give anything to have a coffee buddy right now. anyone? anyone?

ang christmas tree...bow.

2004-12-29T11:57:00.000+08:00

anyone who passes by south super highway at night has probably already seen this christmas tree in front of the newly opened Figaro and Dencio's somewhere in Sucat.

isn't it such a beauty???

twinkling lights especially during christmas season fascinate me. and this giant christmas tree, in all it's red and gold glory captured my heart. hehe. who cares if it's kinda out of the way? who cares if there are 2 Dencio's restaurants right here in Makati, one of which, a 10-minute walk from our office? Baket, may Christmas Tree ba don na sing ganda nito? :)

admittedly, our little group went there more for the change in ambiance than the food. despite it being situated right beside the highway, we (or is it just me?) still felt transported somewhere magical while hanging out, taking pictures, and dancing like idiots in front of this tree. heehee.

it was another classic night. syempre matapos ang kataku-takot na reminder the previous week of this scheduled "christmas dinner" with lu, we still ended up working overtime til 8:30 (that's why we were almost ravenous when we got there), rhea almost didn't make it, while lu, due to issues at work, wasn't able to come at all. o diba, partida. scheduled po itong lakad na ito. hehehe. we ended up having dinner at 10PM because we had to wait to be seated plus the service was super tagal (i swear). it was good thing though we were all in a good mood despite being starved to death that we didn't mind at all when we asked for extra sinigang na baboy soup, and about 30 minutes and 4 follow-ups later, the waiter ended up giving us soup for nilagang baka which we realized only after marlette has already poured it into our bowls which of course, already had left over sinigang soup, vegetables and meat on it.

and because of that incident, the name was coined: tropang niligang na baboy sa baka.

here we are. :)
(top)glenn, me, shawie, lette and JT. (bottom) jen and rhea

************

despite the lousy service, four days later, the day after Christmas, i went back there with my HS friends for our Christmas gathering naman. obvious ba i so loved the tree? hehehe.

************

and well...speaking of Christmas, you probably noticed i haven't blogged much about it. that's because there isn't much to tell. i must admit this hasn't been one of my best Christmases what with all that has happened this year. hopefully next year i'll be able to recapture the spirit of Christmas again. :)

************

one thing i was looking forward about Christmas though is the Ayala center fireworks display every weekend. so see, aside from twinkling lights, am also fascinated with fireworks...and bubbles...and sunsets...and the stars and the galaxy...and beaches...but i digress.

anyways, this year, as i watched the fireworks in Greenbelt, i can't help but feel sad each time as i remember who i used to watch it with every year for the past years. we used to go to ATC a lot on weekends to catch the fireworks there at 7PM to the point that we can already tell which fireworks are new, which one was removed, which one we liked best, etc.

sometime on the 3rd(?) or 4th(?) display i watched this year, as i was on the verge of forever swearing it off because of the little painful memories that still sting my heart, i came up with a resolve: i have to build new memories with the fireworks again. Just like what i did with the beach, and the places we used to go to, and the food we used to eat...

it just seems harder to do with this particular memory because you know it's Christmas, and it's supposed to be the closest holiday to your heart. but i swear am gonna do it and hopefully next year, my Christmas won't be tainted by as much (though not too much) pain anymore.

************

i've been watching a lot of news on the tsunami that hit south east asia last weekend. and i just can't help but wonder, what cruel fate would bestow such tragedy on a Christmas weekend, of all weekends? not that other weekends would justify such catastrophe. pero diba? it's Christmas! am sure families of the 33,000 people (as of this time pa lang yun, and expected to go up pa) that perished would never look at Christmas the same way again. it's just so, so sad. :(

and though am not belittling their loss, am also thankful that the one person i know who could be in India or Thailand last weekend, wasn't there. Or was he? I didn't check. But God, i hope not.

my really selfish, really really impossible christmas wishlist

2004-12-01T11:37:00.000+08:00

you know those times when you go to the mall, and you see a lot of these really neat, nice-to-have stuff that you would want to have but you don't buy because you think you don't really need it and you'd rather spend your money on a book or food or pasalubong or something else? and then you say you'll just buy it next time, if you have more money or if you did something really good and you want to reward yourself or if by some sort of a miracle someone decides to give you money that you can spend any way you want? hmm...

enter the wishlist for the exchange gifts on your Christmas Party come Dec. 9. you think, recollect, rack your brains and try to summon up all of those really neat, nice-to-have-stuff you saw in the mall. but you can't remember a single, solitary thing you want to have for 400 bucks. and then suddenly, all these really crazy, totally expensive, and absolutely impossible wishes start popping into your head.

it's kinda frustrating. so i've decided to write them all down (and update this post each time i think of more)

here goes...

1. this really nice planner from Starbucks i've been coveting since last year, which you can't buy, but you can have if you manage to get 21 (or 22?) stamps on your card before January 3. (hmm...a frappe or a tea a day? not too impossible naman pala.)

2. an all expense paid one week trip to Boracay or Palawan (or any island in the Philippines) -- every month of 2005 for me and 4 of my friends. (so that would be 12 all expense paid one week trips. teehee.)

3. a nice car and a faithful driver who will not make me feel guilty for making him wait while am out gallivanting with friends until the wee hours of the morning.

4. a fully furnished condo unit in Makati overlooking a body of water on one side (Manila Bay?) and the Rockwell area on another side.

5. a prospective The One who will look after me, and take care of me, and will patiently wait until am ready to love again. (toldya, it's a selfish wishlist. tsk. tsk.)

we desperately need an 8th day. we need a 25th hour.

2004-11-25T20:20:00.000+08:00

that's what my friend, marlette and i would tell each other every time we find ourselves overwhelmed, frazzled and confused over our Multiple (yes, with a capital M) plans for the day/week.

a couple of months ago, we started to notice that it was getting harder and harder each day to remember our plans. in a week, there would be a couple of movies to watch, coffee with a problematic friend, shopping for whatever occassion, dinner left and right with highschool friends, college friends and ex-boyfriend's friends, drinking night with officemates, badminton, gym, timezone, yada, yada, yada...

it came to a point when we felt like our social calendars (marlette's especially, since her friends can be too demanding) can only be tracked by a high speed computer with massive memory and artificial intelligence. hahaha.

it seems like we're always on the go. i've tagged myself as the kaladkarin buddy simply because it's soooo easy to get me to go somewhere. just an invite from a friend to anywhere (kahit mall or shopping or food tripping lang during lunch time), as long as i have a means to go home safely, you can count that i'll be there. There would be funny times when, if there is a gathering of our common friends (which is mainly our officemates), and marlette knows i don't know about it yet, she'd just simply say: "Oi, may dinner ka na tomorrow night." haha. it's a given. it's automatic that i'll be there, as long as i don't have previous plans yet. marlette and i are alike that way. we're just both so kaladkarin talaga.

the other day, we both didn't have any plans for the night and we were just passing time at work to avoid the traffic. marlette, glenn and i were talking when she suddenly said..."you know what, me, you (pointing to glenn) and you (pointing to me). we need to get a life."

and i thought about all our individual plans lined up for the week - thanksgiving lunch out, anniversary dinner with our start group, dinner with my ex's friends, marlette's friend's birthday dinner, team building at enchanted kingdom, bridget jones' diary 2...and of all of those times when we've complained that we need that 8th day or that 25th hour so we can get some rest and yet...i still so completely agree with her.

it may sound ungrateful. uncontented even. i know people who would love to have the freedom of going anywhere and spending quality time with your friends without worrying of anything else. believe it or not, i am thankful that i have all the time and that am blessed enough to squander my salary away without worrying about supporting a family, or taking care of a sick relative, or sending a sibling to school, or any of those kinds of responsibility that would dictate how i spend my money...but i really do agree. we need to get a life.

anyone knows where it's being sold and for how much?

life's a B e A c H!

2004-11-22T19:52:00.000+08:00

(the "next week" i said in my previous post, turned out to be "next month". hehehe. i've been swamped with work! but here goes...)

- Oct 29 -

i was jumping with joy when i saw this sign. marlette and i almost didn't make it to the airport. our flight was 3PM; we checked in at 2:55. hehehe. even in one of our greatest adventures, talamak pa rin talaga ang pagiging late namin. i think we were the only people who actually smiled when we found out that our flight will be 1 hour delayed. hahaha.

that night, we had the most relaxing dinner by the beach. we kept ooohhing and aahhhinng at the serenity of it all (there were still quite a few people in boracay that night). everything was so vivid - the ambiance, the palm trees, the lights, the people...it felt like we were watching ourselves from somewhere above. it was almost surreal. sigh.

after dinner, we met the gang. that's me, marlette, hanzel the manager, jun the diver, cha bebang the ultimate character (hehe), ernie the director and of course, eddie, the one taking the photo. our combination was such an animated group. we couldn't stop making fun and laughing at cha bebang's antics. when this picture was taken, i just knew i was going to have a blast in boracay with these people (most of which i've only met there).

we're lucky that we were with nyoy and the mannos' entourage (hanzel, their manager is marlette's and eddie's friend). it gave us privileges such as reserved seats at pier 1 on all the nights they have gigs there (which is 3 out of the 4 nights we were in boracay) and free drinks! how cool is that? :)

one of the best things i loved about boracay was the sand art the kids create at night! there were just too many and it made the walk (though not that far) from our resort, to pier 1, all the more amusing. i was as giddy as a kid while poring over these really cool sand arts!

we got our first taste of the infamous bangenge that night at pier 1. hanzel said this drink is a mix of 16 different kinds of alcohol. i could just see the glint in his eyes as he happily instructed Randy, the bartender, to make an extra strong set for us. hahaha. and look what bangenge did to us! it really did live up to it's name because you definitely won't go home sober. tsk. tsk.

eddie led our intoxicated little group and laughed as marlette and i walked/crawled home at 2AM. when we woke up at noon the following day, we couldn't believe we slept so well despite the amount of sand we brought with us to bed. hehehe.

- Oct 30 -

this day, we realized our biggest problem throughout our stay: where to eat?. we took eddie's advice and walked towards station 2 to look for cheaper restos. we must have walked for 30-40 mins (barefoot at that) looking for a resto, and didn't feel the least bit tired. we found ourselves feasting on yet another grilled meal. after stuffing ourselves, we set off to haggle with the boatmen to take us snorkling. we got a boat originally priced at P1200, for P700. it was still a bit pricey considering it was just marlette and me (the rest of the gang couldn't wait for us to wake up and went on to go diving), but we were quite proud of ourselves. marlette's charm closed the deal. i just know. hehehe. off we went to crocodile island to snorkel and we passed by this man, literally hanging out at the sea. sabi nga ni marlette, "kanya kanyang tambayan lang yan. walang pakialaman. hahahaha. he was kind enough though to smile for the camera. see? hehehe.

and because the waves were too big, we couldn't take more pictures for fear that the camera would get wet. but here are the happy and (about to get) dizzy snorkelers. that's me and marlette. i was kinda disappointed though that the corals weren't as colorful and alive as those in galera. we only saw about 3 colors under the sea - predominantly brownish-green, a touch of blue here and there, and a tinge of orange if you look real close. that, plus the big waves kept pushing us into the shore, that each time we go to the surface, we have to exhaust ourselves swimming back closer to the boat. i got to see coral and marlin and little nemo hanging out next to an anemone though. hehehe. it was my first time to see a clown fish! i was so happy! when we got back to the boat, we were so dizzy that we decided not go to puka beach anymore (which we so regret when we got back to manila). :(

on our way back to the resort, we passed by one of the many henna tattoo stalls scattered in the island. and on impulse, marlette and i decided we'd each get a tattoo. we haggled (expertly), and got 2 tattoos for the price of one. hehe. i knew my dad would hate it, but it grew on me. too bad, it washed off after 2 weeks. hehehe.

that night, was the all white party. lookie who's the odd one out. hehe. kasi naman eddie got confused and told us it's luau party that night. we were already all dressed up when he called and said all white party pala. marlette was too tamad to change and so she ended up going to pier 1 with that cute knitted tube top. hehe.

it rained that night, but it turned out to be very humid. lookie here who decided to take off her top. hehehehe. though admittedly, this turned out to be our best night. we danced the night away til 2AM. by that time we were drenched with sweat that marlette and i decided to change into our swimsuits and hang out by the beach. we went moon bathing, talked about or lost loves, saw a shooting star, and took a chilling dip at the beach around 4AM. hehehehe. i caught colds and woke up in the morning with my nose dripping like a faucet and sneezing non-stop. hehe. but it's ok. it's just amazing what good company and good conversation can do to while the hours away in the place you love most (that is, the beach). hehe. look closely because this is the only picture with eddie wearing a shirt. he took his word (and his diet) seriously and actually went topless (almost )the whole time we were there.

- Oct 31 -
it was on this day that i discovered the beach activity that i would enjoy more than the banana boat -- the paraw or regatta as others would call it. for 300 bucks, we rode around the beach and into the sunset. it was the best ride ever! it was a rather ummm...windy and sometimes bumpy ride and so we didn't get to take much pictures. i would have loved to have my picture taken while i was lying down on the net. teehee.

after the paraw ride, we hung out by the beach and (as you can see, hehe) took pictures. we actually have a picture with borgy manotoc (gawd, his body is soooo yummy! hahaha), but it turned out blurry. :( but eddie's body is just as yummy - he will do. hahaha.

that night was the luau night, and it was the shortest night ever because we got too bangenge waaayyy before nyoy and the mannos' set was over. daym. good thing we took these really cute pictures before we laid our hands on the cosmopolitan drink and the extra strong bangenge. hehehe. i sooo love these shots of the three of us!

- Nov 1 -

marlette and i started out early this day - early as in before noon. hehehe. we had three agendas this day - to shop, get a massage, and try out anton's rhum slush. hehe. we almost did walk that 4km stretch looking for little trinkets we can bring home to our friends. as we headed back to our cottage 3 hours later, we were giddy with excitement over our purchases, our bags filled and heavy with really kikay stuff and our pockets considerably lighter. but we did manage to get everyone a little something. and my mom loved the matching pearl necklace/bracelet i bought her as well as the rosary made from puka shells shaped into a rose. we dropped off our stuff at the cottage, headed towards the beach and got the best full body massage for 250 bucks. it was absolutely the best way to relax our tired muscles after the looonnggg walk we took. i just wish i thought to bring some kind of an oil because i so hate the smell of coconut oil! imagine that scent clinging to your entire body for another couple of hours since you can't take a bath immediately after the massage. but the scent notwithstanding, it was the most soothing, calming and relaxing one hour of my life. hehe. as the lady gently kneaded the tensed muscles on my back, i almost purred as i watched the sun slowly set from the sky, turning it into streaks of blue, orange and purple. and then i suddenly realized with a jolt: where had all the sunsets gone?! that was our last night in boracay and it was the first sunset i ever watched! daym...

i ache to be massaged just by looking at these pictures...

after dinner, we walked to the more desserted part of station 1, looking for White House, where Anton's Rhum Slush - that is, iced tea slush (really, really soft ice i tell yah) with a splash of rhum - is sold. we kept asking the waiter for iced tea slush eh they call it rhum slush pala. hahaha. he asked if we got it from richard gutierrez because he ordered the same drink daw. i almost blurted out hell no. we tried telling him our friend invented that drink (because he was too acidic and couldn't take any more rhum cola) when he stayed in that resort, but he boasted that they were the only resort that sells such drink. ok. whatever. marlette and i sat back, relaxed, and relished the drink that would forever take away caramel mudslide's #1 spot in our hearts. hahaha. it was the best! i was kinda surprised though, because it was too...mild (i guess?) for anton's standards. hehehe. but knowing him, it would probably be rhum with a splash of iced tea for him, instead of the other way around. hahaha.

we walked back to our resort, feeling kinda sad and wistful and contented all at the same time. it was just so sad that it takes so much effort and money to go to boracay. we've been trying to hold off the day wishing we won't have to do the dreaded task too soon -- packing up our stuff. :( and until we save up enough money to go back there summer next year, i'll just hold on to this beautiful (and only) sunset i watched from boracay. gawd, it was such a pretty sight. sigh...

visions of the beach bums...

2004-10-25T13:37:00.000+08:00

this is the whole group. taken right before we went home.
(from left) JT, Nick, Van, Gem, Me, Lette, Cas, Ruth, Anton and Glenn

they will probably kill me if they knew i posted these pics (am so sorry glenn, i know you will read this. hehe) but i just have to ask...what is it with these fine men and YES! magazine??? the one with the story about kris aquino's grandiose lifestyle pa ha! hahahaha.

meet the bronze buddha to your left (and i still smile each time i remember his story on how he tanned his underbelly). hehehe. anton loved it when we called him the bronze god while touching his stomach. haha. he brought along this miniature mahjong set and taught all of us how to play it.

and this is how we were set up during our ummm..drinking sessions. (nakakatawa pa how anton would label each drinking session as afternoon cocktail, sunset cocktail, before lunch cocktail, etc. hay! :) it's just too bad that we weren't able to take a picture of the massive amount of alcohol we brought to quezon (considering there were just 10 of us, 3 of whom do not drink. hehehe.) we had a bottle of tequila and jagermeister, a bottle of mudshake, 2 flavored lambanogs, 5 bottles of rhum, 2 bottles of novellino's red wine (which i so totally loved when mixed with sprite) and a case of san mig light. syempre we didn't consume them all. we had a little left over...mga half the tequila, 1/4 of the lambanog and 7 bottles of san mig light. hehehe. and the nerve of us to call ourselves social drinkers diba??? hahaha.

the ihaw group - lette, anton and glenn. (i took this pic while i was lying comfortably - and complaining at that, dahil nauusukan ako at pwede na ko tumilaok - in the hammock. hahaha.)

below are pics of me and the gels. :)
(left) cas, me, lette and gem. (right) gem, van, me, lette and cas.

(top) van and me. (bottom) me and lette.

below naman are pics of us being silly while we were waiting for the others to get ready to go home. believe it or not, this series of pictures actually has a story and directors and cameramen behind it. hahaha. go figure what it's all about. one thing i concluded though. am so not made for the camera (it took us 1 million takes to get these 4 shots). sabi ko na nga ba kaya ginawa ako ni lord na programmer eh. hahaha. actors: glenn, lette and me.

and last. my favorite artistic shots taken by the ultimate photographer glenn. (ayan ha, i gave you credit. libre promote pa sa blog ko. hahahaha.) i love the shot of anton and van. it looks so candid. :) and well, nick looks like juan tamad. hahaha. and glenn looks so lonesome.

so there. next week i'll probably be posting new beach pictures from our trip to boracay naman. yay!!! :)

visions of quezon...

2004-10-21T18:50:00.000+08:00

before i forget to mention, let me thank glenny and gem for all the wonderful pics i'll be posting here. (glenn keeps saying kasi na he can own my blog and friendster na because it's so full of pics taken from his digicam. hehehe.)

so anyways, this picture on the left is by far the next best Quezon shot. syempre the best is still the panoramic one i posted at the top of my page. hehehe. glenny took this early morning shot from the balcony of the house.

if only we have the luxury of having this charming view each morning we wake up...sigh. i swear i was in heaven the 2 mornings i woke up there. :)

the next pics, i'll just fondly call the hammock shots. i sooo loved this hammock! marlette and i were supposed to sleep on it the 2nd night we were there. but by the time 4AM rolled in, we were too ummm...tipsy to walk from the hut to the hammock. thus, we ended up sleeping in the hut beside the toppled beer bottles and the half full tequilla and the empty bottle of jagermeister and the chips scattered everywhere.

that's marlette on the left and glenny on the right. i actually woke up at 6AM and tried to sleep in the hammock (for about 15 mins) until i realized little elmo pillow (even if i tried putting it at the top of my face while sleeping) can't protect my head from coconuts falling from the tree. hehehe.

our hang out place in the beach - the nipa hut. we whiled the hours away lounging here, reading books and magazines, playing mahjong (anton taught us how to play mahjong! yay!) and catch-a-phrase, talking, drinking, eating, or simply enjoying the fresh air and watching the waves kiss the sand in the shore.

annnddd...well, can i just say i love this photo of me and marlette? :)

and lastly, because we were all so frustrated by this shot of van, jen and shawie (the last time we went there)...

we (myself, cas, marlette and gem) decided to redo the shot to make it perrrfectt. so now here it is. :)

visions of the beach bums coming up.

now you know why am crazy over Quezon. :)

over-rested.

2004-10-18T13:52:00.000+08:00

if there is such a word...then i'm it. :)

no matter how exhausted i was the previous week, the sleep and rest i had over the weekend more than made up for it. i was actually bored out of my mind! hehehe.

toxic!

2004-10-13T03:15:00.000+08:00

after spending the weekend in glorious Quezon (where i really thought am so contented and happy i could just die. teehee.), we go back to work come monday and pound on our PCs like there's no tomorrow. well, there actually is no tomorrow since we're on our deadliest deadline. so here i am, 3AM sitting in front of my PC, right where i was the previous night, working my ass off.

if i wasn't still all aglow over the wonderful weekend i spent in the beach, i'd be all stressed out and frustrated by now.

but still...

ang toxic ha. i went home 4AM last night and i've been working for 15hrs already. today alone. suskupo. 2 days worth of work na yun sa mga normal na trabaho.

hay. don't you just sometimes wish you have an 8AM-5PM job?

***

pics of our trip to the beach coming up. just as soon as i get a logical break and enough time to upload the photos.

another two days in paradise...

2004-10-08T18:15:00.000+08:00

in a few hours...3 hrs to be exact, anton, cas, nick, glenn, marlette, ruth, van, JT, gem and i will be on our way to Pagbilao, Quezon.

looking at the photo above never fails to bring back memories of the glorious 2 days we spent there. imagine fresh air, white sand, crystal clear water and the whole stretch of the beach - all yours. no strangers around. you can do anything and everything and enjoy it's tranquility from sunrise til sunset til dawn.

we've been begging anton (their family owns the place) to take us there since he got back from Germany. this trip has been postponed 3 times since then. and right now, am just about ready to burst with excitement.

i can't believe am actually going to wake up tomorrow with this beautiful sight outside the window.

sigh. i absolutely love the beach. did i say that already? :)

just something i got from reading mec's archive :)

2004-10-08T16:47:00.000+08:00

i got the same result as her though.

Your heart is broken. You were in love and somehow
or someway, it became lost to you and you have
never fully recovered. You yearn for someones
gentle kiss but know not where to find it and
are afraid of being hurt again. Have faith
little lost one, if you let it, love will
flourish for you again.

What is Your Hearts True Desire?
brought to you by Quizilla

kaya nga sabi ko no one understands me better than her. we did go through and felt the same things at one point in our lives. :)

if anyone knows the title and author of any of these poems...

2004-10-08T10:30:00.000+08:00

do please tell me so i can quote properly. :)

The reason why it hurts so much to separate
is because our souls are connected.
maybe they always have been and will be.
maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one
and in each of them we've found each other.
and maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons.
that means that this goodbye is both a goodbye
for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.

When i look at you, i see your beauty and grace
and know they have grown stronger with every life you haved lived.
and i know i have spent every life before this one searching for you.
not someone like you, but you,
for your soul and mine must always come together.
and then, for a reason neither of us understands,
we've been forced to say goodbye.

I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us,
and i promise to do all i can to make sure it does.
but if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye,
i know we will see each other again in another life.
we will find each other again,
and maybe the stars will have changed,
and we will not only love each other in that time,
but for all the times we've had before.

*****

I don't know what to say anymore
except that i couldn't sleep last night
because i knew that it is over between us.
it is a different feeling for me,
one that i never expected,
but looking back,
i suppose it couldn't have ended another way.

You and i were different.
we came from different worlds,
and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love.
you showed me what it was like to care for another,
and i am a better man because of it.
i don't want you to ever forget that.

I am not bitter because of what has happened.
on the contrary, i am secure in knowing that what we had was real,
and i am happy we were able to come together for even a short period of time.
and if, in some distant place in the future,
we see each other in our new lives,
i will smile at you with joy,
and remember how we spent a summer beneath the trees,
learning from each other and growing in love.
and maybe, even for a brief moment, you'll feel it too,
and you'll smile back,
and savor the memories we will always share together.

dear God...

2004-10-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

please give me enough confidence so that i can wear the skimpy swimsuits i bought last week. hehehe.

and also, now that marlette and i already bought the plane tickets, and we're days away from paying the deposit for the cottage we'll be renting, and we've already assembled the outfits that we're gonna wear all 4 nights that we'll be staying there...sana masabi ko na sa parents ko na pupunta akong boracay diba?! hahaha.

***

last week, my instructor at the gym measured my BMI. I was somewhere between good and risky. in short, sobra daw ako sa fats. and i was like, whatthehell?! sa payat kong to? sobra pa ko sa fats?! haha. labo. kung hindi lang sya cute hindi ako maniniwala sa kanya eh. hahaha. :)

pede ba humiling? :)

2004-09-21T19:07:00.000+08:00

Here's your Cancer horoscope for Tuesday, September 20th

Don't be surprised if you suddenly start thinking about taking off -- for a week, or two or maybe more. So clear your schedule, pick a spot and then head out. You need it, you want it and you're due.

Here's your Cancer horoscope for Tuesday, September 21st

You're set up for enjoying all the best in life -- a taste and talent you've already spent considerable time developing. Expect suitable and equally experienced companions to appear. Not bad, huh?

those are my horoscopes yesterday and today. sana itu na ang senyales ni batman na mageenjoy ako and more importantly, matutuloy ang aming Quezon trip on Oct 8-10 and Boracay trip on Oct 29 - Nov 2. hihihi. :)

i love the beach!

airsoft!

2004-09-20T19:11:00.000+08:00

about 2 saturdays ago, my friend and teammate, glenn, introduced our team to his sport - airsoft. it is quite the same as paintball, only, we use pellet guns which look and weigh like real guns, i swear! we've been hearing him rave and rant about this passion of his the past 7 months or so, that we just had to try it out for our teambuilding activity (we've been trying to shy away from the usual dinner and movie teambuilding thing since we've been doing that forever).

it was a sport of endurance and stealth and strategy, and we actually feared at first that not everybody would enjoy it - being a physical game and all. at the end of a grueling four-hour game (with water breaks in between syempre), we were all complaining about how hot it was (because we had to put on jackets to protect our arms aside from the vest and the mask we had to wear), we were all sweaty and dirty and our pants and shoes were wet from running in the water puddles, our bodies were aching and we had bruises on our knees and arms, necks even, (man, even if we were wearing jeans, does it hurt if you get shot by a person standing just a few meters away!). but i was surprised that despite all the complaints, everybody looked like they had the time of their lives (yes, manager and team lead included). and come monday morning, we were all raving about it at work like lunatics. haha!

i picked out some of the pics taken that day (kakatamad upload so it took me awhile to blog about this airsoft thing. haha.)

that's my team on the right - the "winners" who ironically won only once throughout the game. hehe. (so? we're better at bato, bato pik!). team on the right are the "losers".

left pic shows how we looked before the game --- we looked so fresh...and dry. haha. and JT looks so emote on the right pic! wala naman magazine yung baril nya. haha! :)

i love these really cool team shots!

that's glenn, me and rhea in action on the left pic. and of course, may favorite pic of the real winners after capturing the flag. :)

i had sooo much fun that day. but i don't think my powers can endure playing airsoft every week just like glenn does. my whole body refused to move the following day! haha!

i sooo want this dress! sniff.

2004-08-27T13:15:00.000+08:00

i don't know when and where am gonna wear it and how am gonna buy it...basta gusto ko sya! :)

just recently, i've developed this weird habit of waking up in the morning thinking about one of my (many) favorite foods (say, taho). and i would gladly tramp all over makati in all kinds of weather to find manong taho just so i can satisfy my craving. the other day, my friend, chix and i were talking about how much we crave champorado on cold and rainy days. it was a pleasant surprise when, yesterday, when i got to work, i had champorado waiting for me. even nicer still was that chix particularly remembered that i liked my champorado with powdered milk on top and has thoughtfully included a little container of powdered milk with her sooprise. and today, had she not asked me if i already ate my taho, i wouldn't have noticed the warm plastic cup of taho sitting on my desk (that's how messy my desk is. hahaha). that's two days in a row of sweet sooprises from one person. i know she doesn't read this but...thank you chix!.

isn't it such a warm feeling to have friends reach out to you and find any excuse just to pamper you? :) sigh...

******

last night, as marlette and i were walking towards the glorietta cinemas to watch Princess Diaries 2, i finally proved that what's meant to happen will happen whether you're ready or not.

yes. i wasn't ready. and yes. i saw him with his new girl, not once, not twice...but three freakin times - in different locations and before and after we watched the movie.

yes, i guess. it was meant to happen sooner than i expected.

and life goes on...

2004-08-25T14:26:00.000+08:00

for quite a while, i led myself to believe that it hurts too much for me to write my thoughts...that's why i haven't blogged the past 2 months. recent discoveries and masochist efforts left me wretched and racked with pains that almost made me forget how writing used to be therapeutic for me...

i guess what made me go on was the thought that other people still kept their faith in me eventhough i've almost given up on myself. and i'll never understand how they can still tell me am strong and doing well eventhough each day i felt like am crumbling more and more inside.

it's true that there can never be words anyone can say to me that will make the pain go away. i only have to endure one day at a time and believe that all of these shall pass. in time.

tomorrow, it'll be 6 months since my world has been shattered...i've been told a lot of times that counting the days and months wouldn't help me at all. it's been my greatest frustration that it's taking me so long to move on...and (more importantly) to let go. and in some ways, i think the reason why am still holding on is because i fear that if i let go...if i allow the pain to be washed away as the days go by, the love i have for the first guy i ever gave my heart to, would fade with it.

the good cry i had with marlette by the pool in laguna at 5AM last saturday was a welcome reprieve. i finally came to the realization that i do not have to endure such pain anymore...that i never have to keep myself from being happy because i know in my heart i'll always, always love him. though he has hurt me like no one else, he would always have that special place in my heart (sounds cliche-ish, i know). he'll be that person on a pedestal whom i'll always refer to as the guy who loved me well (and my one non-regret is that i never hesitated telling him and thanking him for that before we broke up).

sooo...am posting this beautiful poem which sis mec sent to me on my mail. you don't know how much it meant to me that you so still believe i can endure despite everything you've read in my blog. :)

AFTER A WHILE

Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,

With the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for paths.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So plant your garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong,

And you really do have worth...

and then the continuation poem i got from PEx. :)

AFTER 'AFTER A WHILE'

After 'after a while', you want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but to enjoy its company,

And you want someone's lips to kiss,not because you are lonely but because you are happy,

And you want to give presents and you want to make promises.

After 'after a while', you begin to accept your defeats like an adult,

But like a child, will want someone to listen and care,

And you want someone who will build roads with you today

So maybe you can pave the way for your future together.

After 'after a while', you want someone's sunshine and warmth,

But also accept the rain and the cold,

And you want to give flowers picked from your own garden.

And when your garden is picture perfect,

You want it to be more than a picture even if it means having to be imperfect

Because you want someone in it to stay and to live.

Then you'll see that there is such a thing as love...

And that you were made to live in someone else's garden...

And you'll know that there is more to life than yourself...

Just Because...

2004-06-29T15:11:00.000+08:00

it's amazing when, bloghopping from one site to another, you read entries from persons you never knew existed, that express the exact same sorrow that you're feeling. Thanks to Chel (nope, i don't know her and she doesn't know me, but i regularly visit her blog. hehe) for allowing me to lift stuff from her site. it's weird because when i read a part of her archive, i felt like my own story was deja vu in the making. :)

i got this really inspiring poem from her. she posted it in PEx a long time ago.

Just Because

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to
realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you
shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure
out that you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from
being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of a woman
you are, doesn't mean they can effect your femininity.

Just because no one has come to take the loneliness
away, doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower
quality.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on
your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king, doesn't
mean that you're not already a queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be
progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change
a thing.

Keep shining,
Keep running,
Keep hoping,
Keep praying,
You are COMPLETE.

i'll keep the faith...

p.s.
i distinctly remember sis mec wrote a poem with the same title. i'll look for it. :)

thank you.

2004-06-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

despite the tears and the heartache, it still makes my heart smile that i have friends who have done their best to make me feel loved the past three months.

after each night of crying and agonizing over the sorry state of my life, it's always a sweet surprise to find little gifts and thoughtful notes like these on my desk:

* a choco mousse and a couple of recycled balloons with "we love you" on it
* a pack of yakult, tuna sandwich and a note that says: "mag-breakfast ka! wag yakisoba. :)"
* a pack of yakult, a subway sandwich and this: "these may not ease the pain in your heart, but i hope it'll take care of your tummy. smile. :) it's a beautiful day!"
* a subway sandwich with another note: "i know you'll need the energy. :)"
* a yummy fruit tart from deli france with this: "may your life without you-know-who be fruitful. cheer up sweetie! today is a beautiful day!"

those, and then some more:

* coffee breaks and kokology at starbucks
* free dinner of prawns and lobsters from bubba gump
* 2.4 kg of crabs galore at the seafood club
* instant drinking sessions over tuna belly sinigang and sisig at gerry's

i don't think i can ever list down all the little everyday stuff they do...from 20 min - 1 hour logical breaks at the 12th floor...to looonnggg AOL chats and my neverending, neverchanging rants about how unfair life is...to the somewhat sober and pleasant conversations over lunch...

and what makes it more touching is that my friends never had to do any of these things, yet, they still exert the extra effort just to see me smile. and though i know they don't want to see me cry, my tears would still fall. not for the pain, but for the blessing that is my friends. they have shown me that through all the anguish and the pain, there are still a lot of other reasons to be happy.

what else is there to say, but THANK YOU. so much.

2004-06-21T18:53:00.000+08:00

if i can listen to this version of Gary V.'s song without feeling that familiar ache in my heart...i'd be glad...because i've finally stepped on to another level of moving on...

each passing night
- gary valenciano -

maybe now I can show you what went on in my mind when I first heard this song that moved me. and hoping someday it would soothe the mem'ries of every broken heart, of every single broken heart.

Each passing night
I try and close my eyes
But thoughts of you
They wake me up
And tear me inside out

Each passing night
I ask myself who's right
And try to find the reasons why
It had to end that night

Didn't we share each other's dreams
We held each other tight
Ang tears fell from my eyes
As you walked and left me here
Like the wind you passed me by
I try but I can't see
If it's something that I said
Baby please won't you tell me now
'Cause it gets harder each passing night

I often pray
That you'd come back and stay
We've had too much together
To ever live a part
I'll wait and see
'Cause I know and I believe
Someday you'll come to realize
What you and I can be

Then we'll share each other's dreams
We held each other tight
Kiss the tears that burn my eyes
'Cause you walked and left me here

Like the wind you passed me by
I try but I can't see
If it's something that I said
Baby, please won't you tell me now
'Cause it gets harder each passing night

I never meant to hurt your heart this way
Sooner or later
There'd be someone else who'd stay...

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.

2004-06-18T02:56:00.000+08:00

here is an excerpt from this really nice story of the velveteen rabbit who became REAL.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

i wanna be Real. :(

and so goes...

2004-06-16T11:51:00.000+08:00

the best piece of advice i ever got...

this is a part of my big BOO's mail. made me cry while i was reading it. sniff.

Heartaches are there to remind us how truly lucky we are when we do find the person who will be with us forever...

If we let sadness overcome us, then we're doomed to be unhappy always. Let sadness make you feel alive by feeling the pain. But do not let it take over your life. It's the sadness and ache that makes it real. At least you know you're capable of loving someone. In time, you will heal if you let yourself heal...

m so thankful that he never tires from hearing me out. :)

truth hurts...and lies too.

2004-06-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

last saturday, i found out that not all people who says something and looks at you in the eye is telling the truth...

oh how it hurts when, after defending him to your friends and to everybody else, you find out later that everything's a lie after all... :(

can i just say...

2004-06-09T21:30:00.000+08:00

m so incredibly sad today?

i need a hug. sniff. :(

for dyanis...

2004-06-07T10:39:00.000+08:00

i promised her these letting go articles. :) to the authors, m so sorry i can't give proper credit. i got these from forwarded mails and since they don't have titles, i'll just name them Untitled #1 and Untitled #2. hihi. :)

Untitled #1
If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you,
be gentle with yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him,
feel honored that love came and called at your door,
but gently refuse the gift you cannot return.

If you fall in love with another,
and he falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave,
do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame.
Let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning.
You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love.
Love chooses you.
All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery
when it comes into your life.

Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away.
Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

This is where many lovers go wrong.
Having been so long without love,
they understand love only as a need.
They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love,
and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them
rather than from them.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart.
Love has its own time,
its own season,
and its own reason for coming and going.
You cannot bribe it or coerce it,
or reason it into staying.
You can only embrace it when it arrives
and give it away when it comes to you.

But if it chooses to leave fom your heart
or from the heart of your lover,
there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
If you keep your heart open, it will come again.
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

(i think i got this from big BOO's thread in PEx...)
Untitled #2

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the person of deeds and not for the one of words, for you will find rewarding happiness not with the one you love but the one whom loves you more.

The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions.

Others are lucky to have an actual fairy tale unfold in their lives, when they find that this is the significant other they've long been waiting for...

However, for some, the sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship... but don't be so bitter about it! For it is a kind of FRIENDSHIP that will last for a LIFETIME!!! We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible, and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.

And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime...

"When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you but you will never be loved again the way that I did."

am baccckkk...

2004-06-01T19:43:00.000+08:00

i've been swamped with work and preparations for lulu's despedida that's why i haven't been updating my blog. so much has happened. i don't even know where to start.

well the past week has been a very emotional one for me. Lulu (my teamlead, mentor and friend) resigned and spent her last day with us yesterday. starting next week, she'll go on pursuing her dreams in a place that is definitely not in the desk beside me. we've been sitting next to each other practically ever since i got here. the days leading to May 31 were filled with tears and sadness and a sense of dread for me. though i know this is one of the best things that has happened to her, i still can't help but feel the loss. but as i have said over and over again, am happy for her and i would never even wish that she'd stay because i know she'll be better out there. in the following days, when i look at her desk and see another person already sitting on it, i would just really really need to remember that despite the changes, this has been a good thing.

for the occassion, we made her a scrapbook (which am quite proud of, actually) and a photo album complete with captions from all of our teambuildings and OTs and meetings since last year (since the start of the digital photo age). choosing all 155 photos was a bittersweet task for me. it's amazing how much memories and moments they captured.

and last weekend, a small group of us went to subic to spend 2 days of bonding time. just enough to let her know how much she'll be missed and how much we thank her for being more than just a teamlead. we never really got to go to the beach. saturday was spent travelling and buying groceries and cooking food. dinner was yummy. we all loved rhea's and lu's sinigang with fried chix on the side. weird combination, i know. we got that from anton. teehee.

so anyways, we spent the night from 10PM 'til 6 in the morning, bonding. with glenny and rhea sprawled on the aerospace, lulu on the sofa, van and ruth on the lazy boy and the rest of us perched comfortably on the seats, we spent 8 hrs straight (save for bathroom and yosi breaks) throwing questions at each other, twenty questions style. one would ask a question and everybody would answer. by the time we decided to call it a "night", my eyes were so puffy from crying that i could hardly open it, and my head was already spinning from the amount of alcohol i managed to take in the whole time. rhea and i must have consumed 3 pitchers of zombie (1 bottle of tanduay per pitcher) in 8 hrs. not surprisingly, when i woke up at 10am, i have this verrry bad hang over. teehee. :)

i've picked out some of the good and decent(hehe) pictures we took that night. here goes...

that's lulu on the second photo, rightmost side wearing pink.

a toast to friendship...

after lunch, we set off to go sight seeing. i enjoyed the bird aviary most. they have all kinds of real pretty birds including these little white and blue ones that i'd like to set free in my own wedding. haha.

and this owl fascinated me. perched on it's branch, i think i fell in love when it looked at me for a looonng time without blinking its eyes. i'd move slowly to my left and right and it would follow me. i'd like to have a pet owl one day and i'll name her hedwig. oh wow, how original. :) hahaha.

we also went to the butterfly garden. i didn't enjoy it as much because i was too afraid that the flying butterflies would get to my eyes. diba sabi nila nakakabulag daw yun? hehehe. glenny got these really cool pictures of rhea and marlette though.

can you tell that rhea absolutely loves butterflies? her face is practically glowing in her photo. and i think one day i'll blackmail marlette with this picture of hers. i'd edit it and remove her shirt. o diba, pwede na for FHM! hehehe.

the ride home was tiring but still a lot of fun. glenn's two-way radio idea was really cool. we got to talk to the peeps on the other car like they were really with us. you'd think after 8 hrs of non-stop talking the previous night, we'd get tired or even run out of questions to ask. but nooo...it went on from subic til we were so hungry that we couldn't think anymore. heehee.

i didn't get to sleep a wink during the ride home and i worked on the scrapbook til 3AM. it was one hell of an exhausting weekend. last night i got home 1AM because lulu took us out to dinner. but the fatigue was well worth it for me. i had a lot of fun and i spent real bonding moments with my friends. i also got to say the things i wanted to say to lulu before she left...i'll miss her. i'll miss all of the little thoughtful and quirky things she does. :(

i take one step away and i find myself coming back...

2004-05-18T12:01:00.000+08:00

can i just say m so totally into this song?

your song
-parokya ni edgar-

It took
one look
and forever lay out in front of me

One smile
then I die
only to be revived by you

There I was
thought I had everything
figured that
goes to show there's too much I know
bout the way life plays out

Chorus:
i take one step away
and I find myself coming back
to you
my one and only
one and only
you..

Now I know
that i know nothing at all
except the fact that I am yours
and that you are mine

Oh,
if you told me that it wouldn't be easy
and Oh,
I'm not one to complain

now lemme just find the guitar chords...

galera no more :(

2004-05-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

i was looking forward to another weekend of snorkling and eating halo-halo in the coral groves in galera, but the weather doesn't seem to agree. m so disappointed. and i know i've been procrastinating posting pics from our galera trip last last weekend. now i've lost all interest in posting them altogether. sheesh. i never even got to blog about how i loved snorkling (it was my first time). and how i loved the halo-halo because it had melon on it. and how i got toasted swimming at 10 in the morning. i never even got to tell about my sun, moon and stars henna tattoo and how we enjoyed people watching and drinking and singing til 4 in the morning. and i never even got to complain about how i caught cough and colds being steamed on the boat ride back, then being showered by the rain in the batangas port and then being frozen for 4 hrs on the bus ride home. tsk. tsk.

i wanna go to galera again and snorkel and eat halo-halo. :( *sniff*

spoiled.

hmmm...

2004-05-13T09:35:00.000+08:00

having just gotten out of a long term relationship...and being happily single...m sad that, for quite some time now, i've somehow refused to see that people really close to me craves, yearns, and actually deserves to be happily committed.

m sorry for not understanding. :( i do now.

m more than blessed...i've been kissed by the gods :)

2004-05-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

i'll never be able to express how grateful i am that i was blessed with beautiful (and sexy and handsome) friends.

yesterday was a very difficult day for me. and then i got sick in the middle of the night. as i was throwing up the dinner i did not eat (my last meal was lunch and i didn't even get to finish it), i despaired over my sorry state -- alone, sad and incredibly hurting. for the first time in a long while, i felt weak again. i wanted to come crawling back to the arms of the one who caused all these pain. i was, in fact, drowned in self pity.

but the heartwarming surprise i got from my friends today made me realize that i am lucky. i am blessed...i am loved. :) a few recycled balloons and a choco mousse did the trick.

to lulu, ruth, van, lette, jen, chawie, rhea, glenny and jt...words would never be enough...but...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP :)

what's more painful than having your heart broken?

2004-05-04T11:58:00.000+08:00

seeing your friend's heart get broken...and not being able to do anything about it. :(

lette...i feel your pain. m here, you know that.

some words of wisdom from my friends:

van: be happy for yourself coz rarely can people move on in a much faster pace.
lulu: you will find someone you deserve. the number of years is not proportion to the depth of love...you can still find someone who will love you more.
me: i find strength in praying that God would help me find someone who will not only love me more, but one who will love me best. (no rush though, just praying. :) )
JT: ang hirap kse sa mga girls masyado kayong idealistic eh.

dang. kakainis talaga to si JT. hehehe.

boracay sunset pics from glenny's trip coming later.

you have got to download this!

2004-04-29T20:24:00.000+08:00

i downloaded YM Beta Version today and it's sooo much different -- look and feel wise than the other YM versions! it has some kind of an msn messenger-y touch to it. only so much better. i've been listening to music all day. get it yourself and try it out. :)

my favorite song from 50 First Dates

2004-04-28T12:01:00.000+08:00

wouldn't it be nice
- beachboys -

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

fun in the sun, the sand and the sea.

2004-04-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

i can never explain the feeling the beach gives to me...what i know is that even if the weekend left me tired, seriously deprived of sleep and nearly paralyzed monday morning due to the full body abuse we got from the banana boat ride...i still felt fulfilled...contented...happy. :)

here are snapshots of the wonderful time i had there:

clockwise: teamplayers. winners and losers together; next, team spirit, that's all of us prepped up for the tug of war. hehehe; next one shows our team pulling the rope for the life of us but losing still. too bad we can't zoom in on glenn's face (last person holding the rope, wearing a blue shirt). teehee; last one is a closer view of the castle across the sea which you can see on the 2nd pic.

i will never understand how von does it...they call it beer bong. throughout the night, he managed to down at LEAST 10 bottles of beer -- each in 2 secs. isn't that just incredible?

mom: anak...ano ba yang upo na binili mo, ang liit naman.
me: ma, mangga po yan
mom: ha??? bat ang laki naman???

heeheehee. them slipper mangoes are really deceiving fruits.

this pic of kim totally cracked me up. ain't he just sooo ravishingly sexy? hehehe. (note: posted with his consent. hehe) next pic shows the flower gels. that's kharla, me and jen. i look so small between kharla's 5'4" frame and jen's 5'5". teehee. ok. m 5'2". who cares?

lastly...did i ever mention that i love sunsets as well? here are shots of the sunset in subic. it's so pretty. they call the shot of me and jen the Lesbian Lovers eeekk! hehe. but it's still my favorite. heck, it's my desktop wallpaper! hihihi.

special thanks to glenny and kharla for sharing their pics...hopefully, very soon, i'll have my own digicam to play with. :)

2004-04-23T19:34:00.000+08:00

2 TUMBLING NA LANG MARLETTE!!! :)

in less than 12 hrs...

2004-04-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

i'll be playing volleyball here:

and splashing around here:

yay! my first beach of the summer! m so excited!
Subic, here i come!

2004-04-22T21:08:00.000+08:00

3 DAYS TIL MARLETTE COMES HOME! YAY!

philippines' own brand of engrish.

2004-04-22T21:00:00.000+08:00

i guess this is how master yoda would say it...hehe.

April 17.

2004-04-21T21:20:00.000+08:00

okay...it was friday and everything was set. We were to wake each other up at 3AM, meet in Ortigas at 4AM and then head to Subic for a day of sight seeing and searching for a nice place for our project teambuilding. jen, chawie and i decided to spend friday night in van's condo, so we won't have to wake up so early and travel to ortigas while all of the world is still asleep.

7PM. ruth asks if we can leave for home already. we can't. still finishing some stuff up. we agree that she and van would go ahead and the rest of us hardworking individuals will just follow.

8PM. chawie still has to go to dinner with a friend. friend is still stuck with work.

8:30PM. chawie's friend finally manages to get off work. and so they go to greenbelt to stuff themselves with plates of pasta and pasta and pasta.

9PM. jen and i realize we haven't eaten dinner yet. we hurriedly dial Wendy's hoping they'll give us mercy and still deliver our forgotten dinner.

9:30PM. Wendy's delivery guy arrives bearing sumptious gifts. hehehe. bacon mushroom melt for me and jen and an extra spaghetti for me (i'm a growing girl, alright.)

10:30PM. m halfway through my bacon mushroom melt when chawie comes barging in demanding we go home. pronto. jen still can't go. so we wait some more.

11:00 ...

11:15. alas! jen is done! we dial all taxi company numbers stored in our celphones to no avail. for some reason we keep getting a busy signal. everyone must have decided to finally go home at this ungodly hour on a friday night, and call the same taxi companies we're trying to call. fine.

11:30. we're on our way home finally. tired and excited for our subic trip.

12AM. chawie opens van's door without even knocking. hihi. ruth and van are sprawled on the floor solving ruth's 2,000-piece monster jigsaw puzzle.

12:10AM. chawie, jen and i sprawl ourselves horizontally on van's bed looking helplessly at the puzzle while trying to coax each other to be the first to take a shower and change for bed.

12:30AM. chawie opens her gift -- Wedding Singer VCD and another one which i'd rather not mention. hehe.

1AM. we decide to watch Wedding Singer since chawie and i haven't watched it yet.

1:15AM. chawie falls asleep.

1:45AM. jen falls asleep.

2AM. van falls asleep.

2:15AM. ruth falls asleep.

2:40AM. movie is done. i get up, turn off the player, the tv and the lights. and tries to go to sleep.

3:30AM. chawie does everything annoying to wake us up. hehehe. we wake the others up via celphone brigade and then take turns taking a bath.

5AM. pal and ella are already waiting outside. out comes chawie and jen. then me. then ruth and van -- carrying a bag, a jacket, and a fluffy pillow. hehe.

and then the start of our 5 hr and half trip to Subic. man...traffic in pampanga was BAADDD!

me, von, ruth and JT on our first stopover in KFC Petron...or was it Shell? or Caltex? hmmm...

this is us bored out of our minds while traversing that loooonnnggg stretch of a two-lane road they pathetically call a highway somewhere in pampanga. (jen in black, chawie in maroon, ruth in orange, pal beside her boyfriend Richard (not seen) who's driving, ella in the passenger seat, JT wearing a cap and von -- the not-so-wholesome one at the back. hehe.)

and of course. the only one who really enjoyed the traffic -- van. haha. (who, by the way didn't mind that we were noisily taking pictures of her blissful sleep)

we were totally totally famished come lunch time and we chanced upon this empty, airconditioned place by the roadside. one picture was taken before the orders came in, and the other one taken after we've been fed and watered and satisfied with the yummy meals. now...let's see if you can spot the difference. hehehe.
SALVATORE serves the best marinara pasta! too bad they don't have a branch in manila. :(

i still have some more left over pictures but i'll just post them next time. :) i totally totally enjoyed our subic trip -- the traffic and the sweltering heat notwithstanding. it was the first time i ever felt in my heart that m happy being single. and m glad m doing the things m doing right now. and m excited about all the things i can do in the future. and m blessed i have friends who've done more than offer their shoulders and lend me their ears. :) thank you. thank you. i had a smashing time with you guys last saturday.

2004-04-21T18:41:00.000+08:00

4 DAYS TIL MARLETTE COMES HOME! YAY!

stay away from me!

2004-04-16T19:18:00.000+08:00

jinx n. (jingks)
1. A person or thing that is believed to bring bad luck to those around him.
2. A condition or period of bad luck that appears to have been caused by a specific person or thing.

m starting to believe i really have become a jinx...eversince the breakup of my own relationship, i've seen 3 breakups/near-breakup of people closest to me in a span of 2 months. it's scary. and it makes me sad that these people are now feeling the pain i felt when my own fairy tale came to an end. i know there's nothing i can do except to be there but still...i keep on wishing there's something i can do to ease their pain.

to G...i know you think m on the other side of the fence...but m here. m willing to understand.

to V...hang in there. i know you're stronger than me. but just like you said, choose the path well and wisely. only you know what can me you happy. :)

to J...you know we hate to see your tears. learn to embrace the simple pleasures of single blessedness. sabi nga sa Friends, you deserve a guy who knows what he has when he has you... he'll come and find you soon enough. be patient.

shucks. ang drama. sigh...m sad. :(

tick. tock. tick. tock.

2004-04-15T19:43:00.000+08:00

can i just say m super harrassed? :(

but lulu is such an angel. she bought me choco fudge sundae from jollibee. yum! :)

m blessed.

2004-04-15T11:08:00.000+08:00

i have a 5'11'' strong, muscle-y, super macho, totally awesome, incredibly gorgeous big BOO who will kick anyone's as* if they mess with me.

aww...ain't that sweet? he. he. he. bless his good heart. :)

m so absolutely lazy today...

2004-04-14T17:27:00.000+08:00

i've been here for nearly 8 hrs and i haven't accomplished anything substantial...yet.

why m i not in the mood to work? sniff.

maybe it's the yakult. m on my third bottle today...yesterday i consumed all 5 bottles in the pack. and today, liza pointed out that it had 8 billion live lactobacilli shirota strain per bottle. sooo...that would be...40 billion live lactobacilli yesterday...add 24 billion today...64 billion live lactobacilli squirming in my intestines right now. ewww...

yeah...must be the yakult. tsk. tsk.

but...but...don't you just love yakult? :(

zzzzzz....

2004-04-14T13:15:00.000+08:00

been browsing Friendster bulletin boards. out of sheer boredom and sleepiness i'll try answering one of the questionnaires just this once. here goes...

NAME: ayma
BIRTHDAY: 1981 july 02
AGE: 22
STAR SIGN: cancer
CURRENT RESIDENCE: las piñas
HAIR COLOR: black
EYE COLOR: dark brown
HEIGHT: 5'2"
WEIGHT: 41.5 kg.
WRITING HAND: righty

DO YOU BITE YOUR NAILS: sometimes
CAN YOU ROLL YOUR TONGUE: nope. how do you do that?
CAN YOU RAISE ONE EYEBROW AT A TIME: yes
CAN YOU BLOW SMOKE RINGS: don't smoke
CAN YOU BLOW SPIT BUBBLES: nope. but my nephew can! :)
CAN YOU CROSS YOUR EYES: who can't?
COLORED HAIR: nope
TATTOOS AND WHERE: none
PIERCING AND WHERE: ears lang po

WHAT'S SEXIEST IN A GUY: eyes!
WOULD YOU RATHER BE ON TIME AND LOOK OK OR LATE AND LOOK GREAT: first one. even if m late, i never look great. teehee.
DO YOU PAINT YOUR NAILS: yeah. french tips
DO YOU SWEAR: sometimes. not so much.
DO YOU MUMBLE TO YOURSELF: nguynguy! haha. nope. rhea aquino does though. :)
DO YOU SPIT IN PUBLIC: ack! hell no.
CAN YOU SURVIVE WITHOUT A CD PLAYER: yes. but not without my celphone.
PERSON YOU TALK TO MOST ON THE PHONE: iyah
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BEDROOM: purple. with gold sun, blue moon and silver stars on the walls. all spray painted by me and my best friend.
NAME ONE THING YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH: anything bath and body cucumber melon, ice monster's kiwi ice
DO YOU SNORE: nope. m a light sleeper. i'd wake myself up if i do.
DO YOU SLEEPWALK: nope
DO YOU TALK IN YOUR SLEEP: nope
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL: nope. there's no more place in my bed what with the 6 pillows and all. teehee.
HOW ABOUT WITH THE LIGHT ON: nope
DO YOU FALL ASLEEP WITH THE TV OR THE RADIO ON: tv
WHERE DO YOU HANG OUT?: my room. my brothers' room to watch movies. if not, van's apartment and then eastwood
WHO DO YOU HANG OUT WITH?: lately, ruth and van. chawie and jen.
DOES YOUR GROUP HAVE GUYS?: yes
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO EAT WHEN HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS: van's apartment - anything junk food. hehe.

reminiscing quezon...

2004-04-12T13:26:00.000+08:00

quezon trip was postponed indefinitely. it's such a bummer because i've been looking forward to it for as long as forever because the last time i spent there was the best time i ever had in my life. :)

thanks to glenny for all the beautiful pictures taken with his precious digicam. hehe.

there was a drizzle that day and that's me drawing the sun so the rain would go away. we always used to do that when we were kids. i'm not much of an artist but i swear, my smiling sun worked. :)

BopIt is the invention of a genius. leftmost picture shows 8 hands trying all kinds of tactic and strategy to beat khatz's 100+ top score. i don't think we ever got a higher score than 25. hehe. the cute little ones at the center are the ugly ducklings i grew fond of chasing around to get a picture of in my cel. good thing glenny got a better shot with this one. last one shows van, jen and chawie. it reminds me of Batibot's song: alin, alin, alin ang naiba. haha.

>

this is us splashing around. my puny arms didn't take the abuse too well. they refused to cooperate with me the following day. teehee.

and this one...i'll simply call The Beach. this is the view you'll get when you look out the balcony of the house. it was such a pretty sight especially in the morning.

sigh...

ignorance is bliss...

2004-04-06T17:42:00.000+08:00

friends have been constantly telling me how strong i am...how i've been handling things pretty well. but how well is pretty well really? does the fact that i've stopped seeking answers to my questions matter? does the fact that i chose not to know any truth thay may or may not hurt me matter?

does facing adversity with your eyes closed account for being brave/courageous? is ignorance really bliss or just plain nothingness?

hmmm...in the course of my umm...journey to singlehood, here are small things i've discovered that can make a person happy.

(1) get in touch with old friends which include, but are not limited to, elementary friends, highschool friends, college friends and online friends.
(2) greet the security guard in the door with a heartfelt good morning/good afternoon/good night
(3) remember a friend's favorite food and buy it for her/him
(4) take time to get to know someone you've known for a while but haven't had the chance to
(5) smile a lot. laugh a lot.

lights at the end of my tunnel...

2004-03-31T13:40:00.000+08:00

these are the dates m looking forward to.

April 19 - lola tutbras buddy comes home. finally! (hurry home lola!)
April 23-25 - Quezon Part 2! 'nuff said
May 8-9 - project team building in Subic
May 15-16 - Galera with HS friends

*April 4 - i'll get to see my nephew again!

the apple of my eye...

there's a rainbow always after the rain...

2004-03-30T20:39:00.000+08:00

and i believe my rainbow will come soon enough.

rainbow
-southborder-

fallin' out fallin' in
nothing's sure in this world no no
breaking down breaking in
never knowing what lies ahead
we can really never tell it all no no

say goodbye say hello
to a lover or friend
sometimes we never could understand
why some things begin then just end
we can really never have it all
no no no ohh

but oh, can't you see
that no matter what happens
life goes on and on
and so baby just/please smile
coz im always around you
and i'll make you see
how beautiful life is for you and me

take a little time baby
see the butterfly’s colors
listen to the birds that were sent to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to be

even if there is pain now
everything will be alright
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain

hittin' high hittin' low
win or lose you should go
yeah yeah
getting warm getting cold
weather can be so good or bad
but baby this is life so dont get mad
no no no

life's full of challenges
not all the time we get what we want
but dont despair my dear
you'll take it each trial
and you'll make it through the storm
coz you're strong
my faith in you is clear
so i'll say once again
this world's beautiful
let us celebrate life that's so beautiful
so beautiful...

this is the life...

2004-03-29T09:33:00.000+08:00

going out on a friday night...drinking, talking, and having fun with friends until the last bar in eastwood closes up at 5:30AM...going for a joy ride...seeing my friends' faces tired, but happy as they get out of the car...sleeping in on saturday morning...eating a yummy lunch prepared by a loving friend...doing puzzles til we get crossed-eyed looking at all 2,000 pieces of it...stuffing ourselves with junk food and ice cold coke...sleeping in the whole sunday, wishing you won't have to work on monday...and then coming in on monday morning having your wish granted because the system is till under maintenance. yay! we'll be sent home by noon. :)

isn't this the life?

looking at a honda parked in front of us...

lasing lang ba ako or was your car a toyota when we came here last night?
- me @ 5:45AM

soooo, a glass of wen-weng in an empty stomach made me see that his car really is a honda. teehee.

www.engrish.com

2004-03-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

i came across this really funny website...some of the stuff totally cracked me up. hahaha. i'll be posting some of the really good ones from time to time. :)

sneaky those ifs...

make way Pretty Woman!

2004-03-26T10:55:00.000+08:00

i've been wanting to watch 50 First Dates since Monday. but due to the very small problem of not having somebody else to watch it with, i only got to watch it last night (finally!). and it didn't disappoint. needless to say, i fell in love with the movie. actually, it topped my all time favorite romantic movie Pretty Woman. :)

m definitely going to buy the VCD and add it to my collection when it comes out. (or the pirated DVD if it comes out first. teehee.)

really. i will.

2004-03-25T11:58:00.000+08:00

a txt message i received from my guy best bud chie at 1:10 AM last March 21:
Rmmbr un uspn ntn dti n pg mgkk-gf ako e ikw ang 1 s mga unang mkkalam? wel,am fulfilin dat promis.Ü

of course during that moment, i was both genuinely happy for my friend who's been single since birth, and touched that he remembered the promise we made 8 years back. i knew The Day was nearing when we last met for dinner in greenbelt 3 weeks ago...about a week after my bf broke up with me. i know i should have told him that time. but i just didn't have the heart to burst his bubble of romance. he was all aglow with the prospect of finally finding The One.

and now this. the guilt is starting to gnaw at me. it's been almost a month and i haven't had the guts to tell him yet. how would you feel if at the start of your own lovelife, you will be greeted with the horrendous news of your friend's 6-year relationship breakup??? i can just imagine how he would act so big brotherly and protective...and he would start asking questions that i have no answers yet...and he would ask me how i'm doing...and he would imagine what i went/am going through...and he would imagine how much i've cried...and he would feel mad...and so on...

it's a scary thought. but i really really have to tell him. he'll be hurt if he heard it from somebody else. promise i'll tell him when the next opportunity comes...really. i will.

wish me luck.

klapaucius!

2004-03-24T13:51:00.000+08:00

it's Sims-Hot Date/House Party deja vu all over again. i've spent my day so far (not working, but...) designing and redesigning my bloggie. reminiscent of those times when my best friend and i would spend day in and day out in front of the pc designing our Sims' houses using that magic word over and over again. klapaucius! klapaucius!

i wish i could say klapaucius and make all these TDs and DDs disappear. tsk. tsk.

***

been looking at pictures i can upload so i can link it here and found this...that's me spelling L in HELP. i like this pic, although i never knew what happened to the shot where we were facing the camera. hahaha.

i'm a little bit of crazy, a little bit of a fool...

2004-03-23T15:37:00.000+08:00

i've been lurking around friend-bloggers and stranger-bloggers for a while now. i still have yet to find my way around here. i want to personalize the template for starters. i also want to put pictures and links...and what-nots...hmmm...but right now, it doesn't matter that i have absolutely no idea how. i guess i'm just feeling a bit melancholic. and there are too many things i want written down so it would stop crowding my head...and so starts this online saga of my life...